The Telegraph has had a lot of letters lately suggesting clubs its readers would never join. Today they even have a page 3 feature on it. So I thought I'd compile my Top Ten Things I Would Never Do...
10. Join the Carlton Club until they admit full women members
9. Take advice on social policy from Polly Toynbee (gasp...)
8. Take any notice of anonymous blog posters
7. Ever go to White Hart Lane again
6. Grow a beard (I tried once. Too ginger...)
5. Get a tattoo or a metal 'appendage' of any description
4. Vote to join the Euro
3. Take any soft or hard drug
2. Shout 'Pardew Out'
1. Run for Mayor of London
