There seems to be a new law invented specifically for me. It’s my personal equivalent of the Law of Sod. It goes something like this. “As soon as shaving cream is applied to thy face or thee steppeth into the shower, thy mobile phone shall ring.” I can have 24 hours of blissful mobile phone free silence, but as soon as I am indisposed it rings. You’re probably thinking to yourself: well why the hell doesn’t he turn the damn thing off. Isn’t that what voicemail is invented for?” And you’d be right. But for those of us freelancers who earn our a meagre living from media punditry, we know that if we don’t take the call, there are several others who will. Have you taken that onion out of your pocket yet?
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Last week’s local elections were a triumph for the Conservatives, although if you watched the BBC coverage you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. One of the greatest Tory triumphs of the night was the total obliteration of the LibDems in South Norfolk, their losses in Broadland and the fact that they hardly bothered to field candidates in Breckland. Only in my old stomping ground of North Norfolk did the Tories fail to make a breakthrough. On paper they made three gains, but two were from Independents and the other seat was won by a margin of three votes. They won exactly the same number of seats as they did four years ago.
North Norfolk Tories now need to grasp a nettle they know in their heads they should have grasped several years ago. They lost the parliamentary seat to the LibDems in 2001, they lost the Council to the LibDems, they haven’t won a single council by election in a decade and they (and I ) were trounced in the 2005 General Election. They now need to ask themselves why that is. They’ve got to learn the campaigning techniques which South Norfolk Tories - and indeed, North Norfolk LibDems - seem to take for granted. They have got to embrace the sort of community politics which the LibDems thrive on but also learn the art of opposition. Tory councillors sometimes tend to act as if they are in some sort of power sharing arrangement with the LibDems. The LibDems exploit this weakness and reap the benefits.
In the end it comes down to political leadership and professionalism. North Norfolk Tories have an excellent new parliamentary candidate who deserves top class support. North Norfolk Conservatives know now what they need to do to give it to him.
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I found Tony Blair’s resignation statement vomit inducing, although strangely it came over much better on radio than on TV. It typified his approach to government over the last ten years. He was almost pleading with the British people to like him. He sounded as if he was facing a war crimes tribunal rather than making a resignation statement. But there was one very good line in Blair’s statement, which should appeal to the idealist in all of us. He said: “Politics may be the art of the possible, but at least in life, give the impossible a go.” I got the distinct feeling that Tony Blair felt he had given it a go, but failed. Enoch Powell was right when he said all political careers end in failure.
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One of the great political moments of the year occurred this week when the Northern Ireland Executive took control of events in the Province again. Peter Hain, the Northern Ireland Secretary appeared on TV crowing about how "Tony Blair started off the Northern Ireland peace process with Mo Mowlam". Er, no, he didn't. It is arguable that Margaret Thatcher started it off but it is incontestable that John Major did. It is a disgrace that Tony Blair didn't invited him to take part in the events surrounding the resumption of power sharing.
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Breckland Council have some detailed questions to answer about the conduct of their local election count, although perhaps not so many as the Electoral Commission. But one worrying development is the tendency by local authorities to get rid of their specialist Electoral Registration Officers and allow their chief executives to take over their jobs. This is happening all over the country, and it happened in Breckland. It may be coincidence, or it may not be. It’s quite clear that you cannot skimp on funding democracy.
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So now we know. If your car is stolen in Norfolk and you want the crime investigated, you’ll have to pay £100 for the privilege. Labour MP Ian Gibson is rightly up in arms about it, but doesn’t seem to understand that the government he supports (albeit increasingly rarely) has introduced this outrageous measure. Imagine the outcry if Michael Howard had suggested such a thing when he was Home Secretary. A crime is a crime is a crime. Car crime is just as serious as domestic theft. The message this sends out is that the Police and the government see car crime as a second rate crime. It isn’t. To those affected by it, it is very serious indeed.
