The Unofficial Book of Political Lists
By Iain Dale
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For Sheena & Tracey
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Acknowledgements
Most people think of political reference books as either dead boring or prohibitively expensive. Hopefully this is neither - but then again it is rather more than a reference book. Where in Dod’s Parliamentary Companion could the reader find the Top Ten Political Chat-Up Lines alongside a List of Prime Ministers Since 1721? So this book is all about information and fun - two words not always associated with political life.
It is easy to be sceptical of politicians and to believe that they’re all the same and are only in politics for what they can get out of it. The truth is somewhat more simple. Our politicians reflect the society in which we live. Proportionately there are no more crooked politicians than there are crooked bank managers (perhaps a poor comparison, but there you go!). Politicians are no more likely to sleep around than journalists, although one could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Generally speaking, politicians of all parties are honourable people who genuinely wish to improve the life of the people, while continuously disagreeing with each other about how to go about it. But that’s democracy. And that’s what this book is all about. Where else but in a true democracy could you read in a book the Top Ten Politicians Gay Men Find Attractive?
The most difficult part of writing and compiling this book has been to put the 300 lists into a logical and easily accessible order. I have decided to divide it up into eight sections, finishing with the humourous bit! However, in order for the reader not to become submerged by fact and information there is also a scattering of “unofficial” lists throughout the book - easily recognisable by the stamp which appears on the page.
I hope this book gives you as much enjoyment reading it, as it gave me to compile.
Iain Dale
August 1997
Contents
Part 1 Parliament & Government
Part 2 Elections & Voting
Part 3 Parties & Policies
Part 4 World Politics
Part 5 General Politics
Part 6 Quotations
Part 7 Sex, Money & Scandal
Part 8 More Unofficial Lists (The Funny Part!)
Bibliography
Part 1 Parliament & Government
British Prime Ministers 1721-present
Sixteen Prime Ministers Born in London
Five Prime Ministers born in Scotland
Four Prime Ministers with No Siblings
Ten Prime Ministers who Married Twice
Eleven Prime Ministers Who Had No Children
Twenty Longest Serving Prime Ministers since 1721
Length of service of 20th Century Prime Ministers
Ten Shortest Serving Prime Ministers
Twenty Three Politicians who Became Prime Minister More Than Once
Eight Deputy Prime Ministers
Eleven Prime Ministers who did not Attend University
Twenty Four Prime Ministers who Attended Oxford University
Thirteen Prime Ministers who Attended Cambridge University
Seven Prime Ministers who Died in Office
Eight Prime Ministers Never Awarded a Peerage
Four Prime Ministers who Fought Duels
Ten Prime Ministers Injured in Accidents
Ten Prime Ministers on the Fast Track
Ten Prime Ministers on the Slow Track
Ten Longest Serving Prime Ministers in the House of Commons
Top Ten Youngest Prime Ministers
Nine Oldest Prime Ministers
Ten Oldest People to Have Been Elected Prime Minister
Most Common Zodiac Signs of British Prime Ministers
Ten Longest Living Prime Ministers
Prime Ministers’ Last Words
Stages of a Bill’s Progress to Becoming an Act of Parliament
Twentieth Century Speakers of the House of Commons
Fathers of the House Since 1944
Votes of No Confidence Since 1976
Emergency Recalls of the House of Commons since 1945
Cabinet Secretaries Since 1916
Eight Heads of the Number 10 Policy Unit
British Members of the European Commission
Eleven Ministers Responsible for European Affairs Since 1974
Fifteen Peers who have Renounced their Titles
Eleven Downing Street Press Secretaries since 1964
Ten Longest Serving MPs This Century
Fourteen Wives Who Have Inherited Their Husband’s Seat This Century
Nine Oldest MPs This Century
Eight Youngest MPs This Century
Ten Occasions When a Son or Daughter has Succeeded a Parent
Women in Parliament
History of MPs’ Pay
MP’s Pay in Figures
Ministerial Salaries
MPs Who Have Crossed the Floor of the House Century*
MPs Who Crossed the Floor From Labour to the SDP in 1981-82
Twenty MPs who have Voluntarily Resigned their Seats to Test Public Opinion in a By-Election
Twelve Husbands & Wives Who Have Served as MPs at the Same Time This Century
Ten Classes of People who are not allowed to stand for election to Parliament
MPs Who Have Been Suspended From the House for Defying the Chair
Four MPs who Resigned their Seats after Being Declared Bankrupt
MPs Who Resigned Their Seats Following Censure for Their Conduct in Parliament
Winners of the Spectator Back Bencher of the Year Award
Winners of the Spectator Member to Watch Award
Winners of the Spectator Debater/Questioner/Inquisitor/Campaigner of the Year Awards
Winners of the Spectator Parliamentarian of the Year Awards
Twentieth Century Foreign Secretaries
Twentieth Century Chancellors of the Exchequer
Twentieth Century Home Secretaries
Ten Longest Serving Ministers This Century
Twenty One Cabinet Ministers Who Suffered Election Defeats while Holding Office
Twelve Cabinet Ministers Who Died in Office
Ministerial Resignations in the Thatcher & Major Governments
Fifteen Cabinet Ministers Sacked by Mrs Thatcher
Chancellors with the Most Budgets since 1945
Tony Blair’s First Cabinet
William Hague’s First Shadow Cabinet
Liberal Democrat Spokespeople
Ten Youngest MPs in the House of Commons Today
Eight MPs from Ethnic Minorities
Ten Places MPs Have Visited on Fact Finding Trips
Ten Places MPs Don’t Go on a Fact Finding Trip
Top Ten Questions Asked on Tours of the Houses of Parliament
Fifty Words & Phrases Ruled Out of Order by The Speaker
Part 2 Elections & Voting
Voting in the 1997 General Election
State of the Parties in the House of Commons After the 1997 Election
Parties Contesting the 1997 Election
Ten Seats with Highest Turnout at 1997 Election
Ten Seats with Lowest Turnout at 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Labour Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Conservative Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Liberal Democrats in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Smallest Share of the Vote for the Labour Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Smallest Share of the Vote for the Conservative Party in 1997 Election
The Seats with the Smallest Share of the Vote for the Liberal Democrats in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Referendum Party in the 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the UK Independence Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Socialist Labour Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Green Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the Vote for the Liberal Party in 1997 Election
Ten Seats with the Highest Share of the vote for the British National Party in 1997 Election
Ten Largest Increases in the Labour Vote at the 1997 Election
Ten Largest Increases in the Conservative Vote at the 1997 Election
Ten Largest Increases in the Liberal Democrat Share of the Vote at the 1997 Election
Ten Largest Decreases in the Labour Share of the Vote at the 1997 Election
Ten Largest Decreases in the Conservative Vote at the 1997 Election
Ten Largest Decreases in the Liberal Democrat Vote at the 1997 Election
Five Largest Labour Majorities at 1997 Election
Five Smallest Labour Majorities at 1997 Election
Five Largest Conservative Majorities at 1997 Election
Five Smallest Conservative Majorities at 1997 Election
Five Largest Liberal Democrat Majorities at 1997 Election
Five Smallest Liberal Democrat Majorities at 1997 Election
Parliamentary Election Results Since 1945
Electorate Figures
Election Turnouts in the Twentieth Century
Ten Lowest Votes in General Elections
Ten Seats with Highest Proportion of Ethnic Minority Voters
Ten Seats with the Highest Proportion of Owner-Occupiers
Ten Seats with the Highest Proportion of Council Tenants
Ten Highest Conservative Votes in General Elections Since 1929
Ten Lowest Conservative Votes in General Elections Since 1929
Ten Highest Labour Votes in General Elections Since 1929
Ten Lowest Labour Votes in General Elections Since 1929
Highest Liberal (Democrat) Votes In General Elections Since 1929
Lowest Liberal (Democrat) Vote in General Elections Since 1929
Party Share of the Vote in Elections since 1918
Ten Most Marginal Labour Seats at the 1992 Election
Ten Most Marginal Conservative Seats after the 1992 Election
Ten Most Marginal Liberal Democrat seats after the 1992 Election
Labour Party Election Slogans
Liberal Democrat Election Slogans
Conservative Party Election Slogans
Top Twelve Celebrities Who have Stood for Parliament and Lost
Ten MP’s Who Won Their Seats With the Lowest Per Centage Share of the Vote
Four Occasions When a General Election Has Not Been held on a Thursday
Seventeen By Election Results During the 1992-97 Parliament
Top Ten Signs You’re Losing the Election
Top Ten Ways to Make Elections More Interesting
Top Ten Excuses for Losing an Election
Part 3 Parties & Policies
Leaders of the Conservative Party Since 1900
Leaders of the Labour Party Since 1900
Leaders of the Liberal Party & Liberal Democrats Since 1900
Elections for the Conservative Party Leadership
Elections for the Leadership of the Labour Party
Elections for the Deputy Leadership of the Labour Party
Chairmen of the Conservative Party Since 1970
Chairmen of the Parliamentary Labour Party Since 1970
Top Fourteen Donors to the Conservative Party 1995-96
Top Ten Donors to the Labour Party 1995-96
Nine Backbench Groups/Dining Clubs for Tory MPs
Leaders of the Conservative Group in the European Parliament
Leaders of the Labour Group in the European Parliament
Conservative MPs to Have Been Deselected by Their Constituency Parties Since 1945
Eight Most Oddly Named Parties to have Fought an Election
Twelve Minor Parties which have had MPs in the 20th Century
Nationalisations & Privatisations
Labour MPs to have been deselected by their Constituency Parties since 1987
Post War Chairmen of the 1922 Committee
Top Ten Political Telephone Numbers
A Ten Point Transport Policy for the Next Government
Ten Things Which Should be Against the Law But Aren’t
Top Ten Rejected Names for the Liberal Democrats
Part 4 World Politics
Eight Austrian Chancellors since 1945
Eleven Belgian Prime Ministers since 1961
Nine Danish Prime Ministers since 1960
Seven French Presidents since 1947
Sixteen French Prime Ministers since 1958
Six German Chancellors Since 1949
Fourteen Irish Prime Ministers Since 1932
Twenty Six Italian Prime Ministers since 1960
Ten Dutch Prime Ministers since 1960
Eight Russian & Soviet Heads of Government since 1922
Seven Spanish Prime Ministers since 1939
Nine Swedish Prime Ministers since 1946
Nine Longest Serving World Leaders
Ten First Ten Female Presidents and Prime Ministers
Top Thirty Women Politicians who have become Party Leaders, Prime Minister or President
Names of Parliaments Abroad
Top Ten US Presidents
Bottom Ten US Presidents
Eight American Presidents to die in Office
US Presidents with Most Electoral College Votes
US Presidents with Highest Popular Votes
Oldest US Presidents (at inauguration)
Youngest US Presidents (at inauguration)
Canadian Prime Ministers since 1935
Chinese Prime Ministers since 1949
Ten Indian Prime Ministers since 1949
Thirteen New Zealand Prime Ministers Since 1940
Twelve Israeli Prime Ministers since 1948
Fifteen Japanese Prime Ministers since 1960
Eleven Australian Prime Ministers Since 1945
Last Ten US Presidents
Political Parties in European Countries
Political Parties World-Wide
Top Seventeen International Organisations
Part 5 General Politics
Ten Biggest Trade Unions
Top Forty Pressure Groups
Top Fifteen Policy Think Tanks
Tip O’Neill’s Checklist for Successful Politicians
Colin Powell’s Rules of Life
Key Dates in British Political History
Top Twenty Political “Isms”
Top Thirty Political Acronyms
Top 10 Lobbying Companies
Thirteen British Political Web Sites on the Internet
Top Ten Political Academics
Top Ten Post-War Best Prime Ministers We Never Had
Part 6 Quotations
Top Ten Conservative Quotes
Top Ten Quotes on Socialism
Top Ten Liberal Quotes
Top Ten Quotes on Political Power
Top Ten Quotes on the Commons & Lords
Top Ten Quotes on Democracy
Top Ten Quotes on Economics
Top Ten Quotes by Sir Humphrey Appleby
Top Ten Political Insults
Top Ten Memorable One Liners from Margaret Thatcher
Top Ten Quotes on the Art of Politics
Top Ten Bushisms
Top Ten Quotes from President Reagan
Top Ten Politician’s Comments on The Spice Girls
Top Ten Quotes on Political Leadership
Top Ten Memorable One Liners from Norman Tebbit
Top Ten Conservative-Conservative Insults
Top Ten Labour-Conservative Insults
Top Ten Conservative-Labour Insults
Top Ten Labour-Labour Insults
Top Ten Things Politicians Said & Wished They Hadn’t
Part 7 Sex, Money & Scandal
Ten Politicians Women Find Most Attractive
Ten Politicians Women Find Most Unattractive
Ten Politicians Forum Magazine Readers Find Sexy
Ten Politicians Forum Magazine Readers Find a Turn-Off
Sex Scandals in British Politics Since 1980
Thirteen Politicians Involved in Gay Scandals
Top Ten Signs You’re in Love With a Politician
Top Ten David Mellor Campaign Slogans
Politician’s Chat Up Lines
Conservative Political Turn Ons
Old Labour Political Turn Ons
New Labour Political Turn Ons
Top Twenty Visually Challenged Politicians
Top Twenty Most Good Looking Male Politicians
Top Twenty Most Good Looking Female Politicians
Top Ten Politicians Gays Find Attractive
Part 8 More Unofficial Lists (The Funny Part!)
Ten Fictional Works Featuring Margaret Thatcher
MPs’ Eight Most Over-Rated Authors
MPs’ Four Greatest Political Books Ever
MPs’ Favourite Ever Books
MPs’ Favourite ever authors
Ten Author Politicians
Top Ten Ways of Spotting a Bleeding Heart Liberal
Ten Things You Always Wanted to Know about The Economist
Craig Brown’s Top Ten Most Unlikely Political Headlines
Top Ten Ways Politicians Avoid Answering the Question
Top Ten Ways Margaret Thatcher Stalled Interviewers
Margaret Thatcher’s Desert Island Discs
Neil Kinnock’s Desert Island Discs
Tony Blair’s Desert Island Discs
Ten Questions Not to Ask…
Top Ten Political Medical Complaints
Eighteen Biographies of Margaret Thatcher
Ten Things John Major Won’t Say Sorry For
Politicians Who Have Appeared in the Movies or on TV Playing Themselves
Nine Actors who have Played Margaret Thatcher
Top Ten Campaign Promises Tony Blair is Sorry he Made
Top Ten John Major Excuses for Losing the Election
Top Ten Ways to Make William Hague more Exciting
Top Ten Ways to Make Communism Fun Again
Top Ten Reasons to Increase MPs’ Salaries
Top Ten Reasons to Vote
Top Ten Ways France is Preparing for a Single Currency
Top Ten Signs That You’re Politically Correct
Top Ten Things Which Would be Different if the Prime Minister were a Dog
Top Ten Ways Cherie Blair Could Improve her Image
Ten Football Personalities who Vote Conservative
Ten Things in Politics you would have Thought Impossible 10 Years Ago
Top Ten Signs Your MP is Going Mad
Ten Favourite Westminster Haunts for Politicians
Ten Politicians with Odd Hobbies
Ten Politicians Who Have Appeared in TV or Newspaper Adverts
Top Ten Political Movies
Twenty Football Clubs with Political Supporters
Top Twenty Nicknames for Mrs Thatcher
Top Thirty Political Nicknames
Sixteen Names Denis Healey called Margaret Thatcher
Tony Blair’s New Year’s Resolutions
Top Ten Signs Tony Blair Thinks he’s Margaret Thatcher
Ten Ways to Raise Money for the Conservative Party
Tony Blair’s Worst Nightmares
Ten Signs John Redwood is Trying to be Human
Ten Signs Cherie Booth Thinks She’s Hillary Clinton
Ten Politicians who have Appeared on Have I Got News For You
Top Ten Ways to Let a 20 Point Opinion Poll Lead Slip
Top Ten Rejected Titles for John Major’s Memoirs
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Parliamentary Picnics
Top Ten Unbelievable Political Headlines
Thirty Five Celebrities who support the Conservatives
Twenty One Celebrities Who Support Labour
Five Celebrities who support the Liberal Democrats
Seven Famous Political Marriages
Eight Occasions When Politicians Have Cried in Public
Seven Actor Politicians
Ten Famous Political Homes
Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Politicians
Top Ten Politician’s Names for Voters
Top Ten Good Things About Being Prime Minister
Top Ten Good Things About Being Deputy Prime Minister
Top Ten Signs Tony Blair has Become ‘Hip’
Ten Things You’d Love to Hear Politicians Say But Never Will
Ten Ways of Knowing When a Politician is Telling a Lie
Ten Reasons to Vote for the Green Party
Twelve Translations for the Politically Incorrect
Forty Two Translations of Things Politicians Say
Things You Should Never Say if You Meet Bill Clinton
Part One
Parliament & Government
British Prime Ministers 1721-present
2010- David Cameron
2007-10 Gordon Brown
1997-07 Tony Blair
1990-96 John Major
1979-90 Margaret Thatcher
1976-79 James Callaghan
1974-76 Harold Wilson
1970-74 Edward Heath
1964-70 Harold Wilson
1963-64 Sir Alec Douglas-Home
1957-63 Harold Macmillan
1955-57 Sir Anthony Eden
1951-55 Winston Churchill
1945-51 Clement Attlee
1940-45 Winston Churchill
1937-40 Neville Chamberlain
1935-37 Stanley Baldwin
1929-35 Ramsay MacDonald
1924-29 Stanley Baldwin
1924 Ramsay MacDonald
1923-24 Stanley Baldwin
1922-23 Andrew Bonar Law
1916-22 David Lloyd George
1908-16 Herbert Asquith
1905-08 Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman
1902-05 Arthur Balfour
1895-02 Marquess of Salisbury
1894-95 Earl of Rosebery
1892-94 William Ewart Gladstone
1886-92 Marquess of Salisbury
1886 William Ewart Gladstone
1885-86 Marquess of Salisbury
1880-85 William Ewart Gladstone
1874-80 Benjamin Disraeli
1868-74 William Ewart Gladstone
1868 Benjamin Disraeli
1866-68 Earl of Derby
1865-66 Earl Russell
1859-65 Viscount Palmerston
1858-59 Earl of Derby
1855-58 Viscount Palmerston
1852-55 Earl of Aberdeen
1852 Earl of Derby
1846-52 Lord John Russell
1841-46 Sir Robert Peel
1835-41 Viscount Melbourne
1834-35 Sir Robert Peel
1834 Viscount Melbourne
1832-34 Earl Grey
1832 Duke of Wellington
1830-32 Earl Grey
1828-30 Duke of Wellington
1827-28 Viscount Goderich
1827 George Canning
1812-27 Lord Liverpool
1809-12 Spencer Perceval
1807-09 Duke of Portland
1806-07 Lord Grenville
1804-06 William Pitt the Younger
1801-04 Henry Addington
1783-1801 William Pitt the Younger
1783 Duke of Portland
1782-83 Earl of Shelburne
1782 Marquis of Rockingham
1770-82 Lord North
1766-70 Duke of Grafton
1765-66 Marquis of Rockingham
1763-65 George Grenville
1762-63 Earl of Bute
1757-62 Duke of Newcastle
1757 Earl Waldegrave
1756-57 Duke of Devonshire
1754-56 Duke of Newcastle
1746-54 Henry Pelham
1746 Earl of Bath
1743-46 Henry Pelham
1742-43 Earl of Wilmington
1721-42 Sir Robert Walpole
Sixteen Prime Ministers Born in London
Duke of Newcastle
George Grenville
Earl of Chatham
Lord North
Henry Addington
Spencer Perceval
Earl of Liverpool
George Canning
Lord Melbourne
Lord John Russell
Lord Palmerston
Benjamin Disraeli
Lord Rosebery
Clement Attlee
Harold Macmillan
Alec Douglas Home
Five Prime Ministers born in Scotland
Earl of Bute
Earl of Aberdeen
Arthur Balfour
Henry Campbell-Bannerman
Ramsay MacDonald
Four Prime Ministers with No Siblings
Earl of Liverpool
Stanley Baldwin
Ramsay MacDonald
Tony Blair
Ten Prime Ministers who Married Twice
Sir Robert Walpole
Duke of Grafton
Earl of Shelburne
Henry Addington
Earl of Liverpool
Lord John Russell
Earl of Aberdeen
Henry Asquith
David Lloyd George
Anthony Eden
Eleven Prime Ministers Who Had No Children
Earl of Wilmington
Duke of Newcastle
Marquess of Rockingham
William Pitt
Lord Grenville
Earl of Liverpool
Lord Palmerston
Benjamin Disraeli
Arthur Balfour
Henry Campbell-Bannerman
Edward Heath
Twenty Longest Serving Prime Ministers since 1721
1. Sir Robert Walpole 20 yrs 10 months
2. William Pitt the Younger 18 yrs 11 months
3. Lord Liverpool 14 yrs 8 months
4. Marquess of Salisbury 13 yrs 9 months
5. William Ewart Gladstone 12 yrs 5 months
6. Lord North 12 yrs 1 month
7. Margaret Thatcher 11 yrs 6 months
8. Henry Pelham 10 yrs 7 months
9. Tony Blair 10 yrs 2 months
10. Viscount Palmerston 9 yrs 4 months
11. Herbert Asquith 8 yrs 8 months
12. Winston Churchill 8 yrs 7 months
- Harold Wilson 7 yrs 8 months
- Duke of Newcastle 7 yrs 7 months
- Stanley Baldwin 7 yrs 2 months
- Benjamin Disraeli 6 yrs 11 months
- Ramsay MacDonald 6 yrs 9 months
- Harold Macmillan 6 yrs 9 months
- Lord Melbourne 6 yrs 8 months
- John Major 6 yrs 5 months
Length of service of 20th Century Prime Ministers
Marquess of Salisbury 13 yrs 9 months
Margaret Thatcher 11 yrs 6 months
Tony Blair 10 yrs 2 months
Herbert Asquith 8 yrs 8 months
Winston Churchill 8 yrs 8 months
Harold Wilson 7 yrs 9 months
Stanley Baldwin 7 yrs 2 months
Ramsay MacDonald 6 yrs 9 months
Harold Macmillan 6 yrs 9 months
John Major 6 yrs 5 months
Clement Attlee 6 yrs 3 months
David Lloyd George 5 yrs 10 months
Edward Heath 3 years 8 months
Arthur Balfour 3 years 5 months
James Callaghan 3 years 1 month
Neville Chamberlain 2 yrs 11 months
Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman 2 yrs 4 months
Sir Anthony Eden 1 year 9 months
Sir Alec Douglas-Home 1 year
Andrew Bonar Law 7 months
Ten Shortest Serving Prime Ministers
1. George Canning 119 days
2. Viscount Goderich 130 days
3. Andrew Bonar Law 209 days
4. Duke of Devonshire 225 days
5. Earl of Shelburne 266 days
6. Earl of Bute 317 days
7. Alec Douglas-Home 363 days
8. Lord Grenville 1 yr 42 days
9. Duke of Grafton 1 yr 106 days
10. Lord Rosebery 1 yr 109 days
Twenty Three Politicians who Became Prime Minister More Than Once
4 William Ewart Gladstone
4 Marquess of Salisbury
4 Herbert Asquith
4 Ramsay MacDonald
4 Stanley Baldwin
4 Harold Wilson
3 Earl of Derby
3 Winston Churchill
3 Margaret Thatcher
2 Duke of Newcastle
2 Earl of Rockingham
2 Duke of Portland
2 William Pitt
2 Duke of Wellington
2 Lord Melbourne
2 Robert Peel
2 Lord John Russell
2 Duke of Palmerston
2 Benjamin Disraeli
2 Lloyd George
2 Clement Attlee
2 Harold Macmillan
2 John Major
Nine Deputy Prime Ministers
The post of Deputy Prime Minister does not officially exist. It is entirely at the discretion of the Prime Minister whether a deputy is appointed. Winston Churchill led the way by appointing his coalition partner as his deputy during the war.
Clement Attlee 1942-45
Herbert Morrison 1945-51
Sir Anthony Eden 1951-55
R A Butler 1962-63
William Whitelaw 1979-88
Sir Geoffrey Howe 1989-90
Michael Heseltine 1995-97
John Prescott 1997-2010
Nick Clegg 2010-
Eleven Prime Ministers who did not Attend University
Duke of Devonshire
Earl of Rockingham
Duke of Wellington
Banjamin Disraeli
David Lloyd George
Andrew Bonar Law
Ramsay MacDonald
Neville Chamberlain
Winston Churchill
James Callaghan
John Major
Twenty Five Prime Ministers who Attended Oxford University
George Grenville
Earl of Shelburne
Earl of Wilmington
Henry Pelham
Duke of Portland
Lord Grenville
Earl of Chatham
Lord North
Lord Addington
Earl of Liverpool
George Canning
Robert Peel
Earl of Derby
William Gladstone
Lord Salisbury
Lord Rosebery
Henry Asquith
Clement Attlee
Anthony Eden
Harold Macmillan
Alec Douglas-Home
Harold Wilson
Edward Heath
Margaret Thatcher
Tony Blair
David Cameron
Thirteen Prime Ministers who Attended Cambridge University
Robert Walpole
Duke of Newcastle
William Pitt
Duke of Grafton
Spencer Perceval
Viscount Goderich
Earl Grey
Lord Melbourne
Earl of Aberdeen
Lord Palmerston
Arthur Balfour
Henry Campbell-Bannerman
Stanley Baldwin
Seven Prime Ministers who Died in Office
Earl of Wilmington
Henry Pelham
Earl of Rockingham
William Pitt
Spencer Perceval
George Canning
Lord Palmerston
Twelve Prime Ministers Never Awarded a Peerage
George Grenville
Robert Peel
William Gladstone
Henry Campbell-Bannerman
Andrew Bonar Law
Ramsay MacDonald
Neville Chamberlain
Winston Churchill
Edward Heath
John Major
Tony Blair
Gordon Brown
Four Prime Ministers who Fought Duels
Earl of Shelburne
William Pitt
George Canning
Duke of Wellington
Ten Prime Ministers Injured in Accidents
Lord North Broke his arm in 1776 after falling from his horse
Earl of Chatham Fell off his horse in 1777 following a stroke
Duke of Portland Suffered a dislocated collar bone and a fractured rib in a riding accident in 1782
George Canning Injured leg in riding accident in 1804
Earl of Bute Fell down a cliff while collecting plants
Earl Grey Injured from a falling picture frame
William Gladstone Lost the top of his left forefinger in a shooting incident
Ramsay MacDonald Knocked down by a bicycle
Harold Macmillan Knocked down by a taxi
John Major Injured his knee in a car accident in Nigeria
Ten Prime Ministers on the Fast Track
The average span of time between a Prime Minister first entering Parliament and being appointed Prime Minister is about 25 years. There a follows a list of those who achieved the highest Office in the land the quickest…
- William Pitt 2 yrs
- Lord Addington 6
- John Major 11
- Duke of Grafton 11
- Spencer Perceval 13
- Tony Blair 13
- Earl of Rockingham 14
- Stanley Baldwin 15
- Duke of Devonshire 15
- Lord North 15
Ten Prime Ministers on the Slow Track
This list shows the Tortoise PMs - those who took years and years to reach the highest Office in the land...
- Lord Palmerston 47 yrs
- Earl of Aberdeen 46
- Earl Grey 44
- Earl of Wilmington 43
- Duke of Newcastle 39
- Winston Churchill 39
- Henry Campbell-Bannerman 37
- William Gladstone 35
- George Canning 33
- Lord John Russell 32
Ten Longest Serving Prime Ministers in the House of Commons
- Winston Churchill 63 yrs
- William Gladstone 62
- Lord Palmerston 58
- Lloyd George 54
- Edward Heath 51
- Arthur Balfour 48
- Lord John Russell 47
- Alec Douglas-Home 42
- James Callaghan 41
- Robert Peel 41
Top Ten Youngest Prime Ministers
1 24 yrs William Pitt the Younger
2 33 Duke of Grafton
3 35 Earl of Rockingham
4 36 Duke of Devonshire
5 37 Lord North
6 42 Earl of Liverpool
7 43 David Cameron
7 43 Lord Addington
7 43 Tony Blair
10 44 Robert Walpole
10 44 Viscount Goderich
Nine Oldest Prime Ministers
80 William Gladstone (CHECK)
80 Lord Palmerston
80 Winston Churchill
75 Benjamin Disraeli
73 Earl Russell
72 Lord Salisbury
71 Duke of Portland
71 Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman
71 Neville Chamberlain
Ten Oldest People to Have Been Elected Prime Minister
82 William Gladstone
76 Winston Churchill
75 Duke of Palmerston
73 Lord John Russell
69 Duke of Portland
69 Henry Campbell-Bannerman
69 Benjamin Disraeli
69 Earl of Wilmington
68 Earl of Aberdeen
68 Neville Chamberlain
Most Common Zodiac Signs of British Prime Ministers
Libra 7 Pelham, George Grenville. Grafton, Palmerston, MacDonald, Thatcher, Cameron
Aries 6 North, Portland, Canning, Derby, Callaghan, Major
Pisces 6 Rockingham, Grey, Melbourne, Chamberlain, Wilson, Brown
Gemini 5 Bute, Pitt, Addington, Liverpool, Eden
Pisces 5 Rockingham, Grey, Melbourne, Chamberlain, Wilson
Aquarius 4 Peel, Aberdeen, Salisbury, Macmillan
Scorpio 4 Chatham, Lord Grenville, Perceval, Goderich
Taurus 4 Shelburne, Wellington, Rosebery, Blair
Virgo 4 Walpole, Campbell-Bannerman, Asquith, Bonar Law
Cancer 3 Newcastle, Douglas-Home, Heath
Leo 3 Russell, Balfour, Baldwin
Capricorn 3 Gladstone, Lloyd George, Attlee
Sagittarius 2 Disraeli, Churchill
(The list excludes Wilmington & Devonshire whose exact birth dates are not known)
Ten Longest Living Prime Ministers
- Harold Macmillan 92
- Winston Churchill 90
- William Gladstone 88
- Sir Alec Douglas Home 87
- Henry Addington 86
- Lord John Russell 85
- Clement Attlee 84
- Duke of Wellington 83
- David Lloyd George 82
- Lord Rosebery 82
Prime Ministers’ Last Words
Harold Macmillan: “I think I will go to sleep now”.
Neville Chamberlain: “Approaching dissolution brings relief”.
Stanley Baldwin: “I am ready”.
David Lloyd George: “The sign of the cross, the sign of the cross”.
Henry Campbell-Bannerman: “This is not the end of me”.
William Gladstone: “Amen”.
Benjamin Disraeli: “I had rather live but I am not afraid to die”.
Lord Palmerston: “That’s Article 98, now go on to the next”. (thinking he was signing a treaty)
Earl of Derby: “Bored to utter extinction”.
Duke Wellington: “Yes, if you please”. (when offered a cup of tea)
Spencer Perceval: “Oh, I am murdered”.
William Pitt: “Oh my country, how I leave my country”.
Earl of Chatham: “Leave your Father, and go to the defence of your country”. (to his son, William Pitt)
Stages of a Bill’s Progress to Becoming an Act of Parliament
First Reading (House of Commons)
Second Reading
Standing Committee
Report Stage
Third Reading
First Reading (House of Lords)
Second Reading
Committee Stage
Report Stage
Third Reading
Consideration of Lords Amendments (House of Commons)
Royal Assent
Fourteen Speakers of the House of Commons
2009- John Bercow
2000-09 Michael Martin
1992-00 Betty Boothroyd
1983-92 Bernard Weatherill
1976-83 George Thomas
1971-76 Selwyn Lloyd
1965-71 Dr Horace King
1959-65 Sir H Hylton-Foster
1951-59 W Morrison
1943-51 D Clifton Brown
1928-43 E Fitzroy
1921-28 J Whitley
1905-21 J Lowther
1895-1905 W Gully
Fathers of the House Since 1944
The Father of the House of Commons is the Member with the longest uninterrupted service. The current Father of the House, Sir Edward Heath, was first elected in 1950.
2010- Sir Peter Tapsell
2005-10 Alan Williams
2001-05 Tam Dalyell
1992-01 Sir Edward Heath
1987-92 Sir Bernard Braine
1983-87 James Callaghan
1979-83 J Parker
1974-79 G Strauss
1965-74 Sir R Turton
1964-65 R A Butler
1959-64 Sir Winston Churchill
1952-59 D Grenfell
1951-52 Sir H O’Neill
1944-51 Earl Winterton
Votes of No Confidence Since 1976
Date Government Opposition Subject
9 June 1976 309 290 Economy
23 March 1977 322 298 General
20 July 1977 312 282 Economy
14 December 1978 300 290 Economy
28 March 1979 310 311 General
28 February 1980 327 268 Economy
27 July 1981 331 262 Economy
28 October 1981 312 250 Economy
31 January 1985 395 222 Economy
22 November 1990 367 247 Resignation of Margaret Thatcher
27 March 1991 358 238 Community Charge
24 September 1992 322 296 Economy
23 July 1993 339 299 Europe
Emergency Recalls of the House of Commons since 1945
September 1949 Devaluation
September 1950 Korean War
October 1951 Dissolution
September 1956 Suez Crisis
September 1959 Dissolution
October 1961 Berlin Wall Crisis
January 1968 Expenditure Cuts
August 1968 Czechoslovakia and Nigeria
May 1970 Dissolution
September 1971 Northern Ireland
January 1974 Fuel Crisis
June 1974 Northern Ireland
April 1982 Falklands Crisis
September 1990 Kuwait
September 1992 Exchange Rate Policy
May 1995 Bosnia
September 1998 Omagh bomb
September 2001 Terror attacks on New York
April 2002 Death of the Queen Mother
September 2002 Iraq & WMD
July 2011 Media and the Police
August 2011 Riots
Cabinet Secretaries Since 1916
2011 Sir Jeremy Heywood
2005 Sir Gus O’Donnell
2001 Sir Andrew Turnbull
1998 Sir Richard Wilson
1987 Sir Robin Butler
1979 Sir Robert Armstrong
1973 Sir John Hunt
1963 Sir B Trend
1947 Sir N Brook
1938 Sir E Bridges
1916 Sir M Hankey
British Members of the European Commission
2009 Baroness Ashton
2004 Peter Mandelson
1999 Chris Patte & Neil Kinnock
1995 Sir Leon Brittan & Neil Kinnock
1989 Sir Leon Brittan & Bruce Millan
1985 Lord Cockfield & Stanley Clinton Davies
1981 Christopher Tugendhat & Ivor Richard
1977 Roy Jenkins & Christopher Tugendhat
1973 Sir Christopher Soames & G Thomson
Eleven Ministers Responsible for European Affairs Since 1974
2010 David Lidington
2009 Chris Bryant
2009 Baroness Kinnock
2008 Caroline Flint
2007 Jim Murphy
2006 Geoff Hoon
2005 Douglas Alexander
2002 Denis MacShane
2000 Peter Hain
1999 Keith Vaz
1999 Geoff Hoon
1998 Joyce Quin
1997 Doug Henderson
1994 David Davis
1993 David Heathcoat-Amory
1990 Tristan Garel-Jones
1989 Francis Maude
1986 Lynda Chalker
1983 Malcolm Rifkind
1979 Douglas Hurd
1977 Frank Judd
1976 David Owen
1974 Roy Hattersley
Fifteen Peers who have Renounced their Titles
1963 Viscount Stansgate (Anthony Wedgwood Benn)
1963 Lord Altrincham (John Grigg)
1963 Earl of Home (Sir Alec Douglas Home)
1963 Viscount Hailsham (Quintin Hogg)
1964 Lord Southampton (E Fitzroy)
1964 Lord Monkswell (W Collier)
1964 Lord Beaverbrook (Sir Max Aitken)
1964 Earl of Sandwich (V Montagu)
1966 Lord Fraser of Allander (Sir Hugh Fraser)
1970 Earl of Durham (A Lambton)
1971 Lord Sanderson of Ayot (A Sanderson)
1972 Lord Reith (C Reith)
1973 Lord Silkin (A Silkin)
1975 Lord Archibald (G Archibald)
1977 Lord Merthyr (T Lewis)
Eleven Downing Street Press Secretaries since 1964
2011 Craig Oliver
2010 Andy Coulson
2009 Simon Lewis
2007 Michael Ellam
2003 David Hill
1997 Alastair Campbell
1996 Jonathan Haslam
1994 Christopher Meyer
1990 Gus MacDonald
1979 Bernard Ingham
1976 Tom McCaffery
1974 Joe Haines
1973 W Haydon
1970 Donald Maitland
1969 Joe Haines
1964 Trevor Lloyd-Hughes
Ten Longest Serving MPs This Century
62 Winston Churchill
54 David Lloyd George
51 Sir Peter Tapsell
51 Sir Edward Heath
49 G Lambert
49 T P O’Connor
48 Arthur Balfour
47 J Parker
47 J Gretton
47 H Chaplin
Fourteen Wives Who Have Inherited Their Husband’s Seat
1990 Irene Adams (Paisley North)
1986 Llin Golding (Newcastle under Lyne)
1982 Helen McElhone (Glasgow Queens Park)
1957 Lady Gammans (Hornsey)
1953 Lena Jeger (Holborn & St Pancras)
1943 Lady Apsley
1941 B Rathbone (Bodmin)
1937 Lady Davidson (Hemel Hempstead)
1937 A Hardie (Glasgow Springburn)
1930 Lady Noel-Buxton (North Norfolk)
1927 Countess of Iveagh (Southend)
1923 H Philipson (Berwick on Tweed)
1921 M Wintringham (Louth)
1919 Lady Astor (Plymouth Sutton)
Nine Oldest MPs Since 1900
96 S Young (1918)
92 D Logan (1964)
89 Winston Churchill (1964)
88 W Thorne (1945)
87 R Cameron (1913)
86 J Collings (1918)
86 Sir S Chapman (1945)
85 Emanuel Shinwell (1970)
85 S Davies (1972)
Eight Youngest MPs Since 1900
21 Viscount Turner (1904)
21 J Esmonde (1915)
21 P Whitty (1916)
21 J Sweeney (1918)
21 E Harmsworth (1919)
21 Sir H Lucas Tooth (1924)
21 P Clarke (1955)
21 Bernadette Devlin (1969)
Ten Occasions When a Son or Daughter has Succeeded a Parent
1987 Hilary Armstrong (Durham NW)
1970 Greville Janner (Leicester NW)
1959 Paul Channon (Southend West)
1953 P Ford (Down North)
1945 G Lambert (South Molton)
1914 Austen Chamberlain (Birmingham)
1913 P Meehan (Queens Co)
1913 R McCalmont (Antrim East)
1909 T Lundon (Limerick East)
1908 Stanley Baldwin (Bewdley)
Women in Parliament
Conservative Labour LibDem Other Total
CandidatesMPs Cand MPs Cand MPs
1918 1 0 4 0 4 0
1922 5 1 10 0 16 1
1923 7 3 14 3 12 2
1924 12 3 22 1 6 0
1929 10 3 30 9 25 1
1931 16 13 36 0 6 1
1935 19 6 35 1 11 1
1945 14 1 45 21 20 1
1950 28 6 42 14 45 1
1951 29 6 39 11 11 0
1955 32 10 43 14 12 0
1959 28 12 36 13 16 0
1964 24 11 33 18 25 0
1966 21 7 30 19 20 0
1970 26 15 29 10 23 0
1974 F 33 9 40 13 40 0
1974 O 30 7 50 18 49 0
1979 31 8 52 11 51 0
1983 40 13 78 10 115 0
1987 46 17 92 21 106 2
1992 59 20 138 37 144 2
1997 67 12 159 101 122 3
2001 93 14 155 95 139 5
2005 122 17 166 98 145 10
2010 153 49 191 81 134 7
History of MPs’ Pay
1912 MPs receive first ever salary of £400 pa
1913 £100 of MPs’ salaries made tax exempt in lieu of expenses. This remained the case until 1954.
1924 MPs allowed free rail travel between London and their constituencies
1931 Salaries are cut to £360 as an austerity measure
1934 Salary restored to £380 and then to £400.
1937 MPs are awarded a 50% pay rise taking their salaries to £600 pa.
1946 Salaries are increased to £1,000. Free travel allowed also between MPs’ homes and Westminster.
1953 A sessional allowance of £2 per sitting day (except Fridays) was introduced.
1957 The sessional allowance was replaced by an annual expense allowance of £750. Although the £1000 salary and the £750 expense allowance were taxable, MPs were allowed to claim as tax free any expenses up to £1,750 incurred in respect of their parliamentary duties.
1964 Following a report by the Lawrence Committee salaries were increased to £3,250.
1965 The Members’ Pensions Act was passed introducing a comprehensive scheme for MPs and their families. MPs were to contribute £150 pa, as would the Exchequer.
1969 A secretarial allowance of £500 was introduced and MPs were allowed free phone calls within the UK.
1972 Salaries were increased to £3,500 following the Boyle Committee Report and the secretarial allowance was doubled to £1,000. A further allowance of £750 pa was granted to those MPs living outside London for extra living expenses, while London based MPs were granted an extra £175 pa. Travel allowances were extended and a termination grant equal to three months pay was introduced for MPs who lose their seats at elections.
1972 Improved pension scheme was introduced.
1974 Secretarial allowance rose by 75% to £1,750 and the living outside London allowance was raised to £1,050. The London supplement was upped to £228 pa.
1976 Further improvements in the pension scheme.
1977 Salary increased to £6,270 while secretarial allowances increased to £3,687. London supplement upped to £385, travel allowances further extended and an allowance introduced for overnight stays away from home up to £1,814.
1983 MPs salaries linked to Civil Service rates.
1992 After a Top Salaries Review Board enquiry into office costs MPs voted themselves a substantial increase to nearly £40,000 per annum.
MP’s Pay in Figures
Year Salary Office Allowance
1911 400
1931 360
1934 380
1935 400
1937 600
1954 1250
1964 3250
1969 3250 500
1972 4500 1000
1974 4500 1750
1975 5750 3200
1976 5750 3512
1977 6270 3687
1978 6897 4200
1979 9450 4600
1980 11750 8000
1981 13950 8480
1982 14510 8820
1983 15308 11364
1984 16106 12437
1985 16904 13211
1986 17702 20140
1987 18500 21302
1988 22548 22588
1989 24107 24903
1990 26701 27166
1991 28970 28986
1992 30854 39960
1993 30854 40380
1994 31687
1995 32538
1996 43000
1997 43860
1998 45066
1999 47008
2000 48371
2001 51822
2002 55118
2003 56358
2004 57485
2005 59095
2006 59686
2007 61820
2008 63291
2009 64766
2012 65738
Ministerial Salaries
Prime Minister Cabinet Ministers
1831 5,000 5,000
1937 10,000 5,000
1965 15,250 9,750
1972 23,000 16,000
1978 25,529 17,829
1979 28,765* 24,915
1983 46,660* 37,080
1987 58,650* 47,020
1990 66,851* 55,221
1992 76,234 63,047
1995 80,395 66,489
2002 116,436 69,861
2010 150,000 89,740
* Margaret Thatcher opted to take the same salary as other Cabinet Ministers
MPs Who Have Voluntarily Crossed the Floor of the House Since 2001
2007 Robert Wareing (Liverpool West Derby) Labour to Independent
2007 Quentin Davies (Grantham) Conservative to Labour
2006 Clare Short (Birmingham Ladywood) Labour to Independent
2005 Robert Jackson (Wantage) Conservative to Independent
2002 Andrew Hunter (Basingstoke) Conservative to Independent
2001 Paul Marsden (Shreesbury) Labour to Liberal Democrat
1999 Shaun Woodward (Witney) Conservative to Labour
1999 Dennis Canavan (Falkirk) Labour to Independent
1998 Sir Peter Temple-Morris (Leominster) Conservative to Labour
1997 Sir George Gardiner (Reigate) Conservative to Referendum
1996 Peter Thurnham (Bolton NW) Conservative to LibDem
1996 Alan Howarth (Stratford upon Avon) Conservative to Labour
1995 Emma Nicholson (Devon West) Conservative to LibDem
1981 Christopher Brocklebank Fowler (Norfolk NW) Conservative to SDP
1977 Reg Prentice (Daventry) Labour to Conservative
1974 Christopher Mayhew (Woolwich East) Labour to Liberal
1929 Sir W Jowitt (Preston) Liberal to Labour
1926 J Kenworthy (Hull Central) Liberal to Labour
1919 J Wedgwood (Newcastle under Lyme) Liberal to Labour
1918 J Martin (St Pancras E) Liberal to Labour
1918 E John (East Denbigh) Liberal to Labour
1915 J Hancock (Mid Derbyshire) Labour to Liberal
1914 B Kenyon (Chesterfield) Labour to Liberal
1914 W Johnson (Nuneaton) Labour to Liberal
1906 A Taylor (East Toxteth) Conservative to Liberal
1906 J W Walker (Chester le Street) Liberal to Labour
1904 I Guest (Plymouth) Conservative to Liberal
*Excludes Labour MPs who defected to the SDP in 1981-82. See list below
MPs Who Crossed the Floor From Labour to the SDP in 1981-82
Tom Ellis (Wrexham)
R Crawshaw (Liverpool Toxteth)
Tom Bradley (Leicester East)
John Cartwright (Woolwich East)
John Horam (Gateshead West)
Robert Maclennan (Caithness & Sutherland)
J Roper (Farnworth)
David Owen (Plymouth Devonport)
William Rodgers (Stockton)
Neville Sandelson (Hayes & Harlington)
Mike Thomas (Newcastle East)
Ian Wrigglesworth (Thornaby)
E Lyons (Bradford West)
James Wellbeloved (Erith & Crayford)
M O’Halloran (Islington North)
Dick Mabon (Greenock)
R Mitchell (Southampton Itchen)
D Ginsburg (Dewsbury)
J Dunn (Liverpool Kirkdale)
Tom McNally (Stockport South)
E Ogden (Liverpool West Derby)
John Grant (Islington Central)
George Cunningham (Islington South)
R Brown (Hackney South)
J Thomas (Abertillery)
E Hudson-Davies (Caerphilly)
Bruce Douglas-Mann (Mitcham)
B Magee (Leyton)
Bob Mellish (Bermondsey)
Twenty MPs who have Voluntarily Resigned their Seats to Test Public Opinion in a By-Election
2008 David Davis Con Con Won
1986 15 Ulster Unionist MPs UUP UUP 14 reelected, 1 lost*
1983 Bruce Douglas-Mann Lab SDP Lost
1973 Dick Taverne Lab Dem Lab Reelected
1955 Sir R Acland Lab Ind Lost
1938 Duchess of Atholl Con Ind Lost
1929 Sir W Jowitt Lib Lab Reelected
*In 1986 all 15 Ulster Unionist MPs resigned their seats in protest at the Anglo Irish Agreement.
Twelve Husbands & Wives Who Have Served as MPs at the Same Time This Century
1997-11 Alan & Ann Keen
1992-10 Gordon & Bridget Prentice
1984-01 Peter & Virginia Bottomley
1983-10 Nicholas & Anne Winterton
1966-70 J & G Dunwoody
1966-70 R & A Kerr
1945-50 J & F Paton
1938-45 W & J Adamson
1945-60 Aneurin Bevan & Jennie Lee
1929-31 Sir O & Lady C Mosley
1929 H & R Dalton
1928-29 W & H Runciman
Ten Classes of People who are not allowed to stand for election to Parliament
- Peers of the Realm
- People convicted of various crimes
- Bankrupts
- Priests and ministers of the Roman Catholic Church
- Priests and Ministers of the Church of Scotland
- Priests and Ministers of the Church of England
- People under the age of 21
- People with mental disorders
- Non British citizens
- Public servants such as civil servants, judges, police officers and members of the armed forces
MPs Who Have Been Suspended From the House for Defying the Chair
2009 John McDonnell
2007 George Galloway
2006 Dennis Skinner
2005 Dennis Skinner
1995 Dennis Skinner
1993 Dr Ian Paisley
1992 Dennis Skinner
1990 D Douglas
1990 John Browne
1989 Tam Dalyell
1989 Jim Sillars
1988 Tam Dalyell
1988 Ron Brown
1988 David Nellist
1988 Alex Salmond
1988 Harry Cohen
1988 Ken Livingstone
1988 John Hughes
1987 Daffyd Wigley
1987 Tam Dalyell
1986 Dafydd Wigley
1985 Brian Sedgemore
1984 Martin Flannery
1984 Dennis Skinner
1984 Tam Dalyell
1982 Andrew Faulds
1981 J McQuade, P Robinson, Dr Ian Paisley (twice)
1981 Ron Brown (twice)
1972 C Loughlin
1968 Dame I Ward
1952 Bessie Braddock
1951 S Silverman
1949 E Smith
Four MPs who Resigned their Seats after Being Declared Bankrupt
P McHugh (Nat, North Leitrim) 1903
N Murphy (Nat, S Kilkenny) 1909
H Bottomley (Ind, hackney South) 1912
C Homan (Con, Ashton under Lyne) 1928
MPs Who Resigned Their Seats Following Censure for Their Conduct in Parliament
T Mardy Jones Lab, Pontypridd 1931 Abuse of travel voucher
J Thomas Nat Lab, Derby 1936 Budget leak
Sir A Butt Con, Balham & Tooting 1936 Budget leak
Gary Allighan Lab, Gravesend 1947 Contempt of the House after writing in the World Press News that MPs gave confidential information to strangers when drunk and took money for tip-offs to the press
J Belcher Lab, Sowerby 1949 Aftermath of Lynskey tribunal
John Profumo Con, Stratford on Avon 1963 Lying to the House
John Cordle Con, Bournemouth East 1977 Poulson affair
Twentieth Century Foreign Secretaries
2010- William Hague
2007-10 David Miliband
2006-07 Margaret Beckett
2001-05 Jack Straw
1997-01 Robin Cook
1995-97 Malcolm Rifkind
1989-95 Douglas Hurd
1989 John Major
1983-88 Sir Geoffrey Howe
1982-83 Francis Pym
1979-82 Lord Carrington
1977-79 Dr David Owen
1976-77 Anthony Crosland
1974-76 James Callaghan
1970-74 Sir Alec Douglas Home
1968-70 Michael Stewart
1966-68 George Brown
1964-66 Patrick Gordon-Walker
1963-64 R A Butler
1960-63 Earl of Home
1955-60 Selwyn Lloyd
1955 Harold Macmillan
1951-55 Sir Anthony Eden
1951 Herbert Morrison
1945-51 Ernest Bevin
1940-45 Sir Anthony Eden
1938-40 Viscount Halifax
1935-38 Sir Anthony Eden
1935 Sir Samuel Hoare
1931-35 Sir John Simon
1931 Marquess of Reading
1929-31 Arthur Henderson
1924-29 Sir Austen Chamberlain
1924 Ramsay Macdonald
1919-24 Earl Curzon
1916-19 Arthur Balfour
1905-16 Sir Edward Grey
1900-05 Marquess of Lansdowne
1900 Marquess of Salisbury
Twentieth Century Chancellors of the Exchequer
2010- George Osborne
2007-10 Alistair Darling
1997-07 Gordon Brown
1993-97 Kenneth Clarke
1990-94 Norman Lamont
1989-90 John Major
1983-89 Nigel Lawson
1979-83 Sir Geoffrey Howe
1974-79 Denis Healey
1970-74 Anthony Barber
1970 Ian Macleod
1967-70 Roy Jenkins
1964-67 James Callaghan
1962-64 Reginald Maudling
1960-62 Selwyn Lloyd
1958-60 David Heathcoat-Amory
1957-58 Peter Thorneycroft
1955-57 Harold Macmillan
1951-55 R A Butler
1950-51 Hugh Gaitskell
1947-50 Sir Stafford Cripps
1945-47 Hugh Dalton
1943-45 Sir J Anderson
1940-43 Sir K Wood
1937-40 Sir John Simon
1931-37 Neville Chamberlain
1929-31 Philip Snowden
1924-29 Winston Churchill
1924 Philip Snowden
1923-24 Neville Chamberlain
1922-23 Stanley Baldwin
1921-22 Sir R Horne
1919-21 Austen Chamberlain
1916-19 Andrew Bonar-Law
1915-16 R McKenna
1908-16 David Lloyd George
1905-08 Herbert Asquith
1903-05 Austen Chamberlain
1902-03 C Ritchie
1900-02 Sir M Hicks-Beach
Twentieth Century Home Secretaries
2010- Theresa May
2009-10 Alan Johnson
2007-09 Jacqui Smith
2006-07 John Reid
2004-07 Charles Clarke
2001-04 David Blunkett
1997-01 Jack Straw
1993-97 Michael Howard
1992-93 Kenneth Clarke
1990-92 Kenneth Baker
1989-90 David Waddington
1985-88 Douglas Hurd
1983-85 Leon Brittan
1979-83 William Whitelaw
1976-79 Merlyn Rees
1974-76 Roy Jenkins
1972-74 Robert Carr
1970-72 Reginald Maudling
1967-70 James Callaghan
1965-67 Roy Jenkins
1964-65 Sir Frank Soskice
1962-64 Henry Brooke
1957-62 R A Butler
1954-57 Gwilym Lloyd-George
1951-54 Sir David Maxwell-Fyfe
1945-51 Chuter Ede
1945 Sir D Somervell
194-45 Herbert Morrison
1939-40 Sir J Anderson
1937-39 Sir Samuel Hoare
1935-37 Sir John Simon
1932-35 Sir J Gilmour
1931-32 Herbert Samuel
1929-31 J Clynes
1924-29 Sir W Joynson-Hicks
1924 Arthur Henderson
1922-24 W Bridgeman
1919-22 E Shortt
1916-19 Sir G Cave
1916 Sir Herbert Samuel
1915-16 Sir John Simon
1911-15 R McKenna
1910-11 Winston Churchill
1905-10 H Gladstone
1902-05 A Akers-Douglas
1900-02 C Ritchie
1900-02 Sir M White-Ridley
Ten Longest Serving Ministers This Century
29 yrs Sir Winston Churchill (1905-55)
28 yrs Earl of Balfour (1885-1929)
26 yrs R A Butler (1932-64)
24 yrs Duke of Devonshire (1863-1903)
22 yrs Earl of Halsbury (1875-1905)
22 yrs W Long (1886-1921)
22 yrs Sir Austen Chamberlain (1895-1931)
22 yrs Viscount Swinton (1920-57)
21 yrs Marquess of Salisbury (1866-1902)
21 yrs Sir M Hicks-Beach (1868-1902)
Twenty One Cabinet Ministers Who Suffered Election Defeats while Holding Office
1997 Tony Newton
1997 Roger Freeman
1997 Malcolm Rifkind
1997 Michael Forsyth
1997 William Waldegrave
1997 Ian Lang
1997 Michael Portillo
1992 Christopher Patten
1979 Shirley Williams
1974 Gordon Campbell
1970 Jack Diamond
1965 Patrick Gordon-Walker
1964 Anthony Barber
1950 A Creech-Jones
1945 Leo Amery
1945 Brendan Bracken
1945 Harold Macmillan
1945 Sir John Grigg
1945 Sir D Somervell
1935 Ramsay MacDonald
1935 Malcolm MacDonald
Twelve Cabinet Ministers Who Died in Office
1916 Lord Kitchener
1925 Lord Curzon
1930 Lord Thomson
1931 Viscount Hartshorn
1932 Sir D Maclean
1936 Sir G Collins
1940 Sir J Gilmour
1943 Sir K Wood
1947 Miss E Wilkinson
1951 Ernest Bevins
1970 Iain Macleod
1977 Anthony Crosland
Ministerial Resignations in the Thatcher & Major Governments
1981 Keith Speed Defence Estimates
1981 Angus Maude Personal
1982 Nicholas Fairbairn Handling of a Scottish prosecution
1982 Lord Carrington Falklands
1982 Richard Luce Falklands
1982 Humphrey Atkins Falklands
1982 Nicholas Budgen Northern Ireland policy
1983 John Nott Left politics
1983 Cecil Parkinson Affair with Sara Keays
1985 Ian Gow Anglo Irish Agreement
1986 Michael Heseltine Westland affair
1986 Leon Brittain Westland affair
1987 Sir Keith Joseph Personal
1987 Nicholas Edwards Left politics
1987 Norman Tebbit Personal
1987 Lord Havers Personal
1988 Lord Whitelaw Health
1988 Edwina Currie Salmonella in eggs
1989 Nigel Lawson Economic Policy
1990 Nicholas Ridley Remarks about Germany
1990 Sir Geoffrey Howe Foreign Policy
1992 David Mellor Affair with Antonia de Sancha
1993 Michael Mates Links with Asil Nadir
1994 Jonathan Aitken Resigned to sue The Guardian
1994 Tim Yeo Affair
1994 Earl of Caithness Private scandal
1994 Michael Brown Newspaper allegations over gay affair
1994 Neil Hamilton Links with a lobbying firm
1994 Tim Smith Links with an accountancy firm
1993 Norman Lamont Refused to accept demotion
1995 Robert Hughes Newspaper allegations of extra marital affair
1996 Steven Norris Personal Reasons
1996 Rod Richards Newspaper allegations of extra marital affair
Fifteen Cabinet Ministers Sacked by Mrs Thatcher
Norman St John Stevas 1981
Mark Carlisle 1981
Lord Soames 1981
Sir Ian Gilmour 1981
Lady Young 1983
Francis Pym 1983
Lord Cockfield 1984
Jim Prior 1984
Patrick Jenkin 1985
Peter Rees 1985
John Biffen 1987
Michael Jopling 1987
Lord Hailsham 1987
John Moore 1989
Paul Channon 1989
Chancellors with the Most Budgets since 1945
11 Gordon Brown (1997-2007)
7 Denis Healey (1974-79)
6 R A Butler (1951-55)
6 Nigel Lawson (1983-89)
5 Sir Geoffrey Howe (1979-83)
4 Kenneth Clarke (1993-97)
4 Hugh Dalton (1945-7)
4 James Callaghan (1964-67)
3 Sir Stafford Cripps (1947-50)
3 David Heathcoat Amory (1958-60)
3 Roy Jenkins (1967-70)
3 Anthony Barber (1970-74)
3 Norman Lamont (1990-93)
Tony Blair’s First Cabinet
Prime Minister Tony Blair
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott
Chancellor Gordon Brown
Foreign Secretary Robin Cook
Home Secretary Jack Straw
Lord Chancellor Lord Irvine of Lairg
Education & Employment David Blunkett
Leader of the House of Commons Ann Taylor
President of the Board of Trade Margaret Beckett
Scotland Donald Dewar
Wales Ron Davies
Northern Ireland Mo Mowlam
Chief Secretary to the Treasury Alistair Darling
Agriculture Jack Cunningham
Defence George Robertson
Health Frank Dobson
Social Security Harriet Harman
International Development Clare Short
Culture, Media & Sport Chris Smith
Lord Privy Seal Lord Richard
Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancs David Clark
Transport Gavin Strang
Environment John Prescott
Chief Whip Nick Brown
Ten Places MPs Have Visited on Fact Finding Trips
UNOFFICIAL
1 Paris
2 Washington DC
3 Rio de Janeiro
4 Sydney
5 Tokyo
6 Hong Kong
7 Stockholm
8 Auckland
9 Barbados
10 Jamaica
Ten Places MPs Don’t Go on a Fact Finding Trip
UNOFFICIAL
1 Skegness
2 Bognor Regis
3 Wigan
4 The Gorbals
5 Isle of Dogs
6 Hartlepool
7 Toxteth
8 Great Yarmouth
9 Rwanda
10 Home
Top Ten Questions Asked on Tours of the Houses of Parliament
UNOFFICIAL
1 Is this building as old at the US of A?
2 Can I crash here?
3 Why do those MPs sit on green leather?
4 Shouldn’t they be locked up in a cage?
5 Do we get to meet Mrs Thatcher?
6 How long exactly are two sword lengths?
7 Exactly how early do MPs have an Early Day Motion?
8 Has there ever been a White Rod?
9 Why does the Serjeant at Arms wear stockings, or shouldn’t we ask?
10 Hey, where’s the sleaze?
Fifty Words & Phrases Ruled Out of Order by The Speaker
Jackal
Tory skunks
Swine
Silly ass
Dirty dog
Stool Pigeons
Rat
Jerk
Scoundrel
Snake
Baboons
Political weasel & guttersnipe
Perverter of the truth
Dishonest evasion
Twister
Economical with the truth
Numerological inexactitude
Telling porkies
Seditious blasphemer
Damned lot of cads
Pharisees and hypocrites
Unspeakable blackguard
Stinker
Dunderhead
Smart Alec
Oafish
Lousy
Slippery
Quisling
Right Honourable cheat
Ignorant bigot
Pompous sod
Bollocks
Cretin
Twerp
Boring old twat
Wimp
Bugger all
Bugger
Political Shyster
Tweak his goolies
Poached bullshit
Poppycock, bunkum and balderdash
Arrogant little shit
Spiv
Parasite
Mr Oil Slick
Kinnochio
Little squirt
Part Two
Elections & Voting
Parliamentary Election Results Since 1945
Year Con Lab Lib Others Majority Turnout
1945 213 393 12 22 Lab 146 72.6%
1950 299 315 9 2 Lab 5 84.1%
1951 321 295 6 3 Con 17 82.5%
1955 344 277 6 3 Con 54 76.8%
1959 365 258 6 1 Con 100 78.8%
1964 304 317 9 0 Lab 5 77.1%
1966 253 363 12 2 Lab 96 75.9%
1970 330 287 6 7 Con 30 72.0%
1974 Feb 297 301 14 23 Lab Minority 78.7%
1974 Oct 277 319 13 26 Lab 3 72.8%
1979 339 269 11 16 Con 43 72.0%
1983 397 209 23 21 Con 143 72.7%
1987 376 229 22 23 Con 102 75.3%
1992 336 271 20 24 Con 21 77.7%
1997 165 419 46 29 Lab 179 71.7%
2001 166 413 52 28 Lab 168 59.1%
2005 198 356 62 30 Lab 66 61.3%
2010 307 258 57 28 None 65.1%
Electorate Figures
Population Electorate
1900 41,155,000 6,730,935
1910 44,915,000 7,694,741
1919 44,599,000 21,755,583
1929 46,679,000 28,850,870
1939 47,762,000 32,403,559
1949 50,363,000 34,269,770
1959 52,157,000 35,397,000
1970 55,700,000 39,153,000
1979 55,822,000 41,769,000
1983 56,347,000 42,197,344
1987 56,930,000 43,181,321
1992 57,998,000 43,249,721
1997 58,500,000 43,757,478
2001 59,009,000 44,403,238
2005 60,209,000 44,261,545
2010 61,300,000 45,610,369
Election Turnouts in the Twentieth Century
1900 74.6%
1906 82.6%
1910 86.6%
1918 58.9%
1922 71.3%
1923 70.8%
1924 76.6%
1929 76.1%
1931 76.3%
1935 71.2%
1945 72.7%
1950 84%
1951 82.5%
1955 76.7%
1959 78.8%
1964 77.1%
1966 75.8%
1970 72%
1974 78.7%
1974 72.8%
1979 76%
1983 72.7%
1987 75.3%
1992 77.7%
1997 71.5%
Ten Lowest Votes in General Elections
0 votes F R Lees, Chartists, Ripon in 1860
5 votes Commander Bill Boaks, Public Safety Democratic Monarchist White Resident, Glasgow Hillhead, 1982
5 votes Dr Kailish Trevedi, Independent Janata Party, Kensington, July 1988
7 votes J Connell, Peace Party, Chesterfield, March 1984
8 votes Esmond Bevan, Independent, Bermondsey, February 1983
10 votes Peter Reed Smith, Republican, Darlington, March 1983
10 votes D A Kean, Social Democratic Party, Glasgow Central, June 1980
10 votes T L Keen, CFMPB, Warrington, July 1981
11 votes S E Done, ACMFTP, Croydon NW, October 1981
11 votes H Wise, English Democratic Party, Warrington, July 1981
Source: Almanac of British Politics
Ten Highest Conservative Votes in General Elections Since 1929
1 1992 14,092,891
2 1987 13,763,066
3 1959 13,749,830
4 1951 13,717,538
5 1979 13,697,690
6 1955 13,286,569
7 1970 13,145,123
8 1983 13,012,315
9 1950 12,502,567
10 1964 12,001,396
Ten Lowest Conservative Votes in General Elections Since 1929
1 2001 8,357,622
2 2005 8,772,473
3 1929 8,656,473
4 1997 9,602,857
5 1945 9,988,306
6 1974 O 10,464,817
7 2010 10,726,555
8 1966 11,418,433
9 1935 11,810,158
10 1974 F 11,868,906
Ten Highest Labour Votes in General Elections Since 1929
1 1951 13,948,605
2 1997 13,516,632
3 1950 13,266,592
4 1966 13,064,951
5 1955 12,404,970
6 1955 12,215,538
7 1964 12,205,814
8 1970 12,179,341
9 1945 11,995,152
10 1974 F 11,639,243
Ten Lowest Labour Votes in General Elections Since 1929
1 1931 6,991,000 (inc National Labour)
2 1935 8,325,491
3 1929 8,389,512
4 1983 8,456,934
5 2010 8,606,518
6 2001 9.546,944
7 1987 10,029,778
8 1974 O 11,457,079
9 1979 11,532,148
10 1992 11,559,735
Highest Liberal (Democrat) Votes In General Elections Since 1929
1 1983 7,780,949 (including SDP)
2 1987 7,341,633 (including SDP)
3 2010 6,836,188
4 1974 F 6,063,470
5 1992 5,999,384
6 2005 5,981,874
7 1974 O 5,346,754
8 1929 5,308,510
9 1997 5,242,894
Lowest Liberal Democrat Vote in General Elections Since 1929
1 1955 722,405
2 1951 730,556
3 1935 1,422,116
4 1959 1,638,571
5 1970 2,117,035
6 1945 2,248,226
7 1931 2,318,510 (inc National Liberal & Independent Liberal)
8 1966 2,327,533
9 1950 2,621,548
10 1964 3,092,878
Party Share of the Vote in Elections since 1918
Con Lab Lib Other
1918 36 23.7 25.6 14.7
1922 38.2 29.5 29.1 3.2
1923 38.1 30.5 29.6 1.8
1924 48.3 33 17.6 0.8
1929 38.2 37.1 23.4 1
1931 55.2 32.2 10.7 1.9
1935 53.7 38.6 6.4 1.3
1945 39.8 47.8 9 2
1950 43.5 46.1 9.1 1.3
1951 48 48.8 2.5 0.7
1955 49.7 46.4 2.7 1.2
1959 49.4 43.8 5.9 0.9
1964 43.4 44.1 11.2 1.3
1966 41.9 47.9 8.5 1.2
1970 46.4 43.0 7.5 3.2
1974 F 37.9 37.1 19.3 5.7
1974 O 35.8 39.2 18.3 6.7
1979 43.9 36.9 13.8 5.4
1983 42.4 27.6 25.4 4.7
1987 43.4 31.7 23.2 1.7
1992 42.3 35.2 18.3 4.2
1997 30.7 43.2 16.8 9.3
2001 31.7 40.7 18.3 8.7
2005 32.4 35.2 22.0 10.4
2010 36.1 29.0 23.0 11.1
Labour Party Election Slogans
2010 A Future Fair For All
2005 Britain: Forward Not Back
2001 Schools & Hospitals First
1997 Britain Deserves Better
1992 It’s time to get Britain working again
1987 Britain Will Win
1983 Think positive, act positive & New Hope for Britain
1979 The Labour way is the better way
1974 O Britain Needs a Labour Government
1974 F Let us Work Together
1970 Now Britain’s Strong - Let’s Make Her a Great Place to Live In
1966 You know Labour Government works & Time for Decision
1964 Let’s go with Labour
1959 Britain belongs to you
1955 Forward with Labour
1951 Our First Duty - Peace
1950 Let us Win Through Together
1945 Let us Face the Future
1929 Socialism in Our Time
Liberal (Democrat) election slogans
2010 The Real Alternative
2005 Change That Works For You
2001 A Real Chance for Real Change
1997 Make the Difference
1992 Changing Britain For Good
1987 The Time Has Come
1983 Working Together for Britain
1979 Real Fight is for Britain
1974 O Britain Needs a Liberal Government
1974 F No slogan
1970 What a Life!
1966 For all the People
1964 Think for Yourself!
1959 People count
1955 Crisis Unresolved
1951 The Nation’s Task
1950 No Easy Way
1945 No slogan
1918 A Land Fit for Heroes to Live in
1910 Lords versus the People
Conservative Party Election Slogans
2010 Vote For Change
2005 Are You Thinking What We’re Thinking?
2001 Time For Common Sense
1997 You can only be sure with the Conservatives
1992 The Best Future For Britain
1987 The Next Moves Forward
1983 Challenge of Our Times
1979 Labour isn’t working & The Right Approach
1974O Putting Britain First
1974 F Who Governs Britain
1970 A Better Tomorrow
1966 Action not words
1964 Prosperity with a Purpose
1959 Life’s better with the Conservatives. Don’t let Labour ruin it.
1955 United for Peace & Progress
1951 Britain Strong and Free
1950 This is the Road
1929 Safety First
1922 Tranquillity
Top Twelve Celebrities who have stood for Parliament and lost
1 Ted Dexter
2 Pamela Stephenson
3 Jonathan King
4 Vanessa Redgrave
5 Eric Morley
6 Ludovic Kennedy
7 Cynthia Payne
8 Auberon Waugh
9 Robin Day
10 Esther Rantzen
11 William Douglas Home
12 Mark Thomas
Ten MP’s Who Won Their Seats With the Lowest Per Centage Share of the Vote
1 Sir Russell Johnston LibDem Inverness, Nairn & Lochaber1992 26.05%
2 F J Privett Con Portsmouth Central 1922 26.82%
3 J McQuade DUP Belfast North 1979 27.61%
4 C W Crook Con East Ham 1922 29.74%
5 H G Strauss Con Combined Universities 1946 29.98%
6 Rev William McCrea DUP Mid Ulster 1983 30.02%
7 Mrs M A Bain SNP Dunbartonshire East 1974 O 31.20%
8 C G Dafis Plaid Cymru Ceridigon & Pembroke N 1992 31.29%
9 Peter Robinson DUP Belfast East 1939 31.37%
10 J S Holmes Lab Derbyshire North East 1918 31.43%
Source: David Boothroyd
Four Occasions When a General Election Has Not Been held on a Thursday
1931 Tuesday
1924 Wednesday
1922 Wednesday
1918 Saturday
Top Ten Signs You’re Losing the Election
UNOFFICIAL
1 Even your mother votes for the other guy
2 Suddenly the photo opportunity with the sheep doesn’t seem quite so smart
3 Popular campaign chant of “four more years” refers to your prison sentence
4 Jeremy Paxman describes you on air as “That total airhead”
5 You hate meeting people
6 Your opponent takes all his party workers to help a nearby marginal seat
7 You are Conservative candidate in Ebbw Vale
8 You’re known as the Candidate who can’t stop drooling
9 William Hill gives better odds on Eddie the Eagle winning Olympic Gold
10 Not even your cellmate wants to vote for you - even if he could
Top Ten Ways to Make Elections More Interesting
UNOFFICIAL
- Glue up the slot on the ballot box
- Every time a candidate kisses a baby, have him pelted with eggs
- Put Jeremy Vine on prozac
- Prime Minister’s speechwriter writes a speech of limericks
- UKIP votes to be counted by the same people who count the unemployment
statistics
- Abolish Party Political Broadcasts and replace them with old episodes of Captain Pugwash
- Make the Returning Officers sing the results to the tune of “Like a Virgin”
- Ditch the Dimblebores and get Fearne Cotton to present Election Night programme
- Abolish postal votes and give out 0898 numbers to raise money for tax cuts
- Fine opinion poll companies £1 million for every per centage point their predictions are wrong
Top Ten Excuses for Losing an Election
UNOFFICIAL
- Should have kept quiet about seeing Carravagio seventeen times
- Maybe not a good idea to have made that campaign speech in German
- Misread campaign manager’s memo as “kiss babes” - should have kissed babies
- Those negative campaign ads about myself were perhaps a mistake
- That constituency visit by Neil & Christine Hamilton wasn’t such a good idea after all
- Should never have described opponent as a great kisser
- Couldn’t believe they’d be stupid enough to vote for the other guy
- Shouldn’t have accepted that campaign donation from Bob Diamond
- That ‘hanging’s too good for them’ leaflet just wasn’t tough enough
10. Thought it was best out of three
Part Three
Parties & Policies
Leaders of the Conservative Party Since 1900
2005- David Cameron
2003-05 Michael Howard
2001-03 Iain Duncan Smith
1997-01 William Hague
1990-96 John Major
1975-90 Margaret Thatcher
1965-75 Edward Heath
1963-75 Alec Douglas-Home
1957-63 Harold Macmillan
1955-57 Anthony Eden
1940-55 Winston Churchill
1937-40 Neville Chamberlain
1923-37 Stanley Baldwin
1922-23 Andrew Bonar Law
1921-22 Austen Chamberlain
1911-21 Andrew Bonar Law
1902-11 Arthur Balfour
1900-02 Marquess of Salisbury
Leaders of the Labour Party Since 1900
2010- Ed Miliband
2007-10 Gordon Brown
1994-07 Tony Blair
1992-94 John Smith
1983-92 Neil Kinnock
1980-83 Michael Foot
1976-80 James Callaghan
1960-76 Harold Wilson
1955-60 Hugh Gaitskell
1935-55 Clement Attlee
1932-35 George Lansbury
1931-32 Arthur Henderson
1922-31 Ramsay MacDonald
1921-22 J Clynes
1917-21 W Adamson
1914-17 Arthur Henderson
1911-14 Ramsay MacDonald
1910-11 G Barnes
1908-10 Arthur Henderson
1906-08 Keir Hardie
Leaders of the Liberal Party & Liberal Democrats Since 1900
2007- Nick Clegg
2006-07 Sir Menzies Campbell
1999-06 Charles Kennedy
1987-99 Paddy Ashdown
1976-87 David Steel
1967-76 Jeremy Thorpe
1956-67 Joe Grimond
1945-56 Clement Davies
1935-45 Sir Archibald Sinclair
1931-35 Sir Herbert Samuel
1926-35 David Lloyd George
1908-26 Herbert Asquith
1900-08 Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman
Elections for the Conservative Party Leadership
1965 Edward Heath 150, Reginald Maudling 133, Enoch Powell 15
1975 First Round Margaret Thatcher 130 Ted Heath 119, Sir Hugh Fraser 16
Second Round Margaret Thatcher 110, William Whitelaw 79, Jim Prior 19, Sir Geoffrey Howe 19, John Peyton 11
1989 Margaret Thatcher 314, Sir Anthony Meyer 33
1990 First Round Margaret Thatcher 204, Michael Heseltine 152
Second Round John Major 185, Michael Heseltine 131, Douglas Hurd 56
1995 John Major 218, John Redwood 89
1997 First Round Kenneth Clarke 49, William Hague 41, John Redwood 27, Peter Lilley 24 Michael Howard 23
Second Round Kenneth Clarke 64, William Hague 62, John Redwood 38
Third Round William Hague 92, Kenneth Clarke 70
2001 First Round Michael Portillo 49, Iain Duncan Smith 39, Kenneth Clarke 36, Michael Ancram 21,
David Davis 21
Second Round Michael Portillo 50, Iain Duncan Smith 42, Kenneth Clarke 39, David Davis 18,
Michael Ancram 17
Third Round Kenneth Clarke 59, Iain Duncan Smith 54, Michael Portillo 53
Fourth Round Iain Duncan Smith 155,933 (61%), Kenneth Clarke 100,864 (39%)
2003 Michael Howard wins unopposed
2005 First Round David Davis 62, David Cameron 56, Liam Fox 42, Kenneth Clarke 38
Second Round David Cameron 90, David Davis 56, Liam Fox 51
David Cameron 14,446 (68%), David Davis 64,398 (32%)
Elections for the Leadership of the Labour Party
1922 Ramsay MacDonald 61, J Clynes 56
1935 First Round Clement Attlee 58, Herbert Morrison 44, Arthur Greenwood 33
Second Round Clement Attlee 88, Herbert Morrison 48
1955 Hugh Gaitskell 157
Aneurin Bevan 57
1960 Hugh Gaitskell 188, Harold Wilson 81
1963 First Round Harold Wilson 115, George Brown 88, James Callaghan 41
Second Round Harold Wilson 144, George Brown 137
1976 First Round Michael Foot 90, James Callaghan 84, Roy Jenkins 56, Tony Benn 37, Denis Healey 30, Tony Crosland 17
Second Round James Callaghan 141, Michael Foot 133, Denis Healey 38
Third Round James Callaghan 176, Michael Foot 137
1980 First Round Denis Healey 112, Michael Foot 83, John Silkin 38, Peter Shore 32
Second Round Michael Foot 139, Denis Healey 129
1983 Neil Kinnock 71.2%, Roy Hattersley 19.3%, Eric Heffer 6.3%, Peter Shore 3.1%
1988 Neil Kinnock 88.6%, Tony Benn 11.4%
1992 John Smith 91%, Bryan Gould 9%
1994 Tony Blair 57%, John Prescott 24.1%, Margaret Beckett 18.9%
2007 Gordon Brown elected unopposed
2010 First Round David Miliband 37.78%, Ed Miliband, 34.33%, Ed Balls 11.79%,
Andy Burnham 8.68%, Diane Abbott 7.42%
Second Round David Miliband 38.89%, Ed Miliband, 37.47%, Ed Balls 13.23%,
Andy Burnham 10.41%
Third Round David Miliband 42.72%, Ed Miliband, 41.26%, Ed Balls 16.02%,
Fourth Round Ed Miliband 50.65%, David Miliband 49.35%
Chairmen of the Conservative Party Since 1970
2010- Baroness Warsi & Lord Feldman
2009-10 Eric Pickles
2007-09 Caroline Spelman
2005-07 Francis Maude
2003-05 Liam Fix & Lord Saatchi
2002-03 Theresa May
2001-02 David Davis
1998-01 Michael Ancram
1997-98 Lord Parkinson
1995-96 Dr Brian Mawhinney
1994-95 Jeremy Hanley
1992-94 Sir Norman Fowler
1990-92 Christopher Patten
1989-90 Kenneth Baker
1987-89 Peter Brooke
1985-87 Norman Tebbit
1983-85 John Selwyn Gummer
1981-83 Cecil Parkinson
1975-81 Lord Thorneycroft
1974-75 William Whitelaw
1972-74 Lord Carrington
1970-72 Peter Thomas
Chairmen of the Parliamentary Labour Party Since 1970
2012 David Watts
2006 Tony Lloyd
2005 Ann Clwyd
2001 Jean Corston
1997 Clive Soley
1992 Doug Hoyle
1987 Stan Orme
1983 Jack Dormand
1979 Fred Willey
1974 Cledwyn Hughes
1974 Ian Mikardo
1970 Douglas Houghton
Conservative MPs to Have Been Deselected by Their Constituency Parties Since 1945
1997 Sir George Gardiner (Reigate)
1997 Sir Nicholas Scott (Kensington & Chelsea)
1996 Robert Banks (Harrogate)
1992 John Browne (Winchester)
1992 Sir Anthony Meyer (Clwyd NW)
1987 Christopher Murphy (Welwyn Garden City)
1979 R Cooke (Bristol W)
1979 B Drayson (Skipton)
1974 F Sir C Taylor (Eastbourne)
1970 R Harris (Heston & Isleworth)
1964 J Henderson (Glasgow Cathcart)
1964 D Johnson (Carlisle)
1964 O Prior-Palmer (Worthing)
1964 M Lindsay (Solihull)
1959 L Turner (Oxford)
1959 Nigel Nicolson (Bournemouth East)
1954 Lord M Douglas Hamilton (Inverness)
1951 E Gates (Middleton & Prestwich)
1950 Sir G Fox (Henley)
1950 N Bower ( Harrow West)
1950 A Marsden (Chertsey)
1945 H Clifton Brown (Newbury)
1945 C Cunningham-Reid (St Marylebone)
1945 J McKie (Galloway)
Eight Most Oddly Named Parties to have Fought an Election
Belgrano Bloodhunger
Elvisly Yours Elvis Presley Party
Official Acne Party
Blancmange Thrower
Eurobean From the Planet Beanus
Let’s Have Another Party Party
Chauvinist Raving Alliance Party
Twelve Minor Parties which have had MPs in the 20th Century
Anti Waste League
Campaign for Social Democracy
Common Wealth Party
Communist Party of Great Britain
Co-operative Party
Empire Free Trade Crusade
Independent Labour Party
Independent Parliamentary Group
Irish National Movement
National Democratic & Labour Party
National Party
Scottish Prohibition Party
Nationalisations & Privatisations
1926 Central Electricity Generating Board Created as Government Body
1926 BBC Created as Public Corporation
1933 London Passenger Transport Board Created as Public Sector Body
1943 North of Scotland Hydro-Electricity Board Created as Public Sector Body
1946 Bank Of England Nationalised
1946 Coal Industry Nationalised
1946 BOAC & BEA Airlines Created as Public Sector Corporations
1947 Electricity Industry Nationalised
1948 Railway Industry Nationalised
1948 Road Haulage Industry Nationalised
1948 Inland Waterways Nationalised
1948 Gas Industry Nationalised
1949 Iron & Steel Industry Nationalised
1953 Road Haulage Industry Privatised
1954 UK Atomic Energy Authority Created as Public Sector Body
1969 Post Office Became a Public Corporation
1971 Rolls Royce Nationalised
1973 Thomas Cook & Carlisle Breweries Privatised
1975 British Leyland Nationalised
1976 British National Oil Corporation Created as Public Corporation
1977 British Aerospace Created as Public Corporation
1977 British Shipbuilders Created as Public Corporation
1980 British Aerospace Privatised
1981 Cable & Wireless Privatised
1982 Amersham International Privatised
1982 National Freight Corporation Privatised
1982 Britoil Privatised
1982 Associated British Ports Privatised
1984 Enterprise Oil Privatised
1984 British Telecom Privatised
1986 British Gas Privatised
1987 British Airways Privatised
1987 Royal Ordnance Privatised
1987 Rolls Royce Privatised
1987 British Airports Authority Privatised
1988 British Steel Privatised
1988 Rover Group Privatised
1989 Water companies Privatised
1990 Electricity industry Privatised
1992-7 Various Trust Ports Privatised
1995-6 Railway Industry Privatised
1996 British Energy Privatised
2001 National Air Traffic Services Privatised
2004 British Technology Privatised
2007-8 British Nuclear Fuels Privatised
2008 Qinetiq Privatised
2008 Royal Bank of Scotland Part nationalised
2009 UKAEA Privatised
2011 The Tote Privatised
2012 Northern Rock Privatised
Post War Chairmen of the 1922 Committee
2010- Graham Brady
2001-10 Sir Michael Spicer
1997-01 Sir Archie Hamilton
1992-97 Sir Marcus Fox
1984-92 Sir Cranley Onslow
1972-84 Sir Edward du Cann
1970-72 Sir H Legge-Bourke
1966-70 Sir A Harvey
1964-66 Sir W Anstruther-Gray
1955-64 J Morrison
1951-55 D Walker-Smith
1945-51 Sir A Gridley
Top Ten Political Telephone Numbers
1 0207 930 4433 - Number 10 Downing Street
2 0207 219 3000 - Houses of Parliament
3 001 202 456 1414 - The White House
4 0207 222 9000 - Conservative Central Office
5 0207 701 1234 - Labour Party Headquarters
6 0207 222 7999 - Liberal Democrat Headquarters
7 0131 226 3661 - Scottish National Party
8 02920 472272 - Plaid Cymru
9 02890 471155 - Democratic Unionist Party
10 0800 5876587 – UKIP
A Ten Point Transport Policy for the Next Government
UNOFFICIAL
- Sedan chairs to be introduced into Central London
- New 10 man operated buses to be introduced thus curing unemployment at a stroke
- A fourth London airport to be built at Streatham
- Everyone over 70 banned from driving a Nissan Micra
- Dunkin Donuts to take over all Motorway Service Areas
- New study to be commissioned on a channel tunnel between England and Scotland
- All bus lanes to be abolished and turned into Mercedes 500SL lanes
- Taxi drivers fined £5 for every time they call you ‘Guv’
- Virgin Atlantic flight attendants must prove they are virgins
10. A £200 airport departure to be introduced to encourage people to go on holiday in Britain
Ten Things Which Should be Against the Law But Aren’t
UNOFFICIAL
- Fraudulent use of a filofax
- Being drunk in charge of a Labour Party manifesto
- Smelling of tuna fish
- Paying for your season ticket at Waterloo station in the rush hour
- Reading the Daily Mirror without just cause
- Grievous bodily odour
- Voting without due care and attention
- Causing a nuisance by asking for extra mayonnaise
- Wearing a T shirt with ‘I heart Nick Clegg’ on the front
- The phrase New Labour New Britain
Top Ten Rejected Names for the Liberal Democrats
UNOFFICIAL
1 The Liberal Dork-O-Crats
2 The SAS Party
3 The Artist formerly known as the Alliance Party
4 Liberals R Us
5 Literal Demoprats
6 The We’ll Put Your Taxes Up Party
7 The Not the SDP Party
8 The Sanctimonious Party
9 The Sad Party
10 The Liberal Party
Part Four
World Politics
Twelve Austrian Chancellors since 1945
2008 Werner Faymann
2007 Alfred Gusenbauer
2000 Wolfgang Schuessel
1997 Viktor Klima
1986 Franz Vranitzky
1983 Fred Sinowatz
1970 Bruno Kreisky
1964 Josef Klaus
1961 Alfons Gorbach
1953 Julius Raab
1945 Leopold Figl
1945 Karl Renner
Fourteen Belgian Prime Ministers since 1961
2011 Elio Di Rupo
2008 Yves Leterme
2008 Herman Van Rompuy
2008 Yves Leterme
1999 Guy Verhofstadt
1992 Jean-Luc Dehaene
1981 Wilfried Martens
1981 Marc Eyskens
1979 Wilfried Martens
1978 Paul Vanden Boeynants
1974 Leo Tindemans
1973 Edmond Leburton
1968 Gaston Eyskens
1966 Paul Vanden Boeynants
1965 Pierre Harmel
1961 Theo Lefevre
Twelve Danish Prime Ministers since 1960
2011 Helle Thorning-Schmidt
2009 Lars Lokke Rasmussen
2001 Anders Fogh Rasmussen
1993 Poul Rasmussen
1982 Poul Schluter
1975 Anker Jorgensen
1973 Poul Hartling
1971 Anker Jorgensen
1971 Jens Otto Krag
1968 Hilmar Baunsgard
1962 Jens Otto Krag
1960 Viggo Kampmann
Nine French Presidents since 1947
2012 Francois Hollande
2007 Nicolas Sarkozy
1995 Jacques Chirac
1981 Francois Mitterand
1974 Valery Giscard D’Estaing
1969 Georges Pompidou
1959 Charles de Gaulle
1954 Rene Coty
1947 Vincent Auriol
Twenty French Prime Ministers since 1958
2012 Jean-Marc Ayrault
2007 Francois Fillon
2005 Dominique de Villepin
2002 Jean-Pierre Rafferin
1997 Lionel Jospin
1995 Alain Juppe
1993 Edouard Balladur
1991 Edith Cresson
1988 Paul Rocard
1986 Jacques Chirac
1984 Laurent Fabius
1981 Pierre Mauroy
1976 Raymond Barre
1974 Jacques Chirac
1972 Pierre Messmer
1969 Jacques Chaban Delmas
1968 Jacques Maurice Couve de Murville
1962 Georges Pompidou
1959 Michel Debre
1958 Charles de Gaulle
Eight German Chancellors Since 1949
2005 Angela Merkel
1998 Gerhard Schroeder
1982 Helmut Kohl
1974 Helmut Schmidt
1969 Willy Brandt
1966 Kurt Georg Kiesinger
1963 Ludwig Erhard
1949 Konrad Adenauer
Sixteen Irish Prime Ministers Since 1932
2011 Enda Kenny
2008 Brian Cowen
1997 Bertie Ahern
1995 John Bruton
1992 Albert Reynolds
1987 Charles Haughey
1982 Garrett Fitzgerald
1982 Charles Haughey
1981 Garrett Fitzgerald
1979 Charles Haughey
1977 Jack Lynch
1959 Sean Lermass
1957 Eamon de Valera
1954 John Costello
1951 Eamon de Valera
1948 John Costello
1932 Eamon de Valera
Thirty Italian Prime Ministers since 1960
2011 Mario Monti
2008 SilvioBerlusconi
2006 Romano Prodi
2001 Silvio Berlusconi
2000 Giuliano Amato
1998 Massimo D’Alema
1996 Romano Prodi
1995 Lamberto Dini
1994 Silvio Berlusconi
1993 Carlo Azeglio Ciampi
1992 Guiliano Amato
1989 Giulio Andreotti
1988 Ciriaco De Mita
1987 Giovanni Goria
1987 Giulio Andreotti
1983 Bettino Craxi
1982 Amintore Fanfani
1981 Giovanni Sadolini
1980 A Forlani
1978 Francesco Cossiga
1976 Guilio Andreotti
1974 Aldo Moro
1973 Mariano Rumor
1872 Guilio Andreotti
1970 Emilio Colombo
1968 Mariano Rumor
1968 Giovanni Leone
1963 Aldo Moro
1963 Giovanni Leone
1960 Amintore Fanfani
1960 Fernando Tambroni
1959 Antonio Segni
Twelve Dutch Prime Ministers since 1960
2010 Mark Rutte
2002 Jan Peter Balkanende
1994 Wim Kok
1982 Ruud Lubbers
1977 Andreas Van Agt
1973 Joop den Uyl
1971 Barend Biesheuvel
1967 Petrus de Jong
1966 Jelle Zijlstra
1965 Joseph Cals
1963 Victor Marijnen
1959 John de Quay
Ten Russian & Soviet Heads of Government since 1922
2012 Vladimir Putin
2008 Dmitry Medvedev
2000 Vladimir Putin
1991 Boris Yeltsin
1985 Mikhail Gorbachev
1984 Konstantin Chernenko
1983 Yuri Andropov
1964 Leonid Brezhnev
1953 Nikita Khruschev
1953 Georgy Malenkov
1922 Joseph Stalin
Nine Spanish Prime Ministers since 1939
2011 Mariano Rajoy
2004 Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero
1995 Jose Maria Aznar
1982 Felipe Gonzalez
1981 Leopoldo Calvo-Sotelo
1976 Adolfo Suarez
1974 Carlos Arias
1973 Luis Carrero
1939 Francisco Franco
Ten Swedish Prime Ministers since 1946
2006 Fredrik Reinhardt
1994 Goran Persson
1991 Carl Bildt
1986 Ingvar Carlsson
1982 Olaf Palme
1979 Thorbjorn Falldin
1978 Ola Ullsten
1976 Thorbjorn Falldin
1969 Olaf Palme
1946 Tage Erlander
Ten First Ten Female Presidents and Prime Ministers
- Sirimavo Bandaranaike Ceylon/Sri Lanka 1960-64 & 1970-77
- Indira Gandhi India 1966-84
- Golda Meir Israel 1969-74
- Maria Estela Peron Argentina 1974-75
- Elisabeth Domitien Central African Republic 1975
- Margaret Thatcher United Kingdom 1979-90
- Maria Lurdes Pintasilgo Portugal 1979
- Vigdis Finnbogadottir Iceland 1980-
- Mary Eugenia Charles Dominica 1980-95
- Gro Harlem Brundtland Norway 1981 & 1986-89
Names of Parliaments Abroad
Lower House Upper House
Argentina House of Deputies Senate
Australia House of Representatives Senate
Austria Nationalrat Bundesrat
Belgium Chamber of Representatives Senate
Brazil Chamber of Deputies Senate
Bulgaria Sobranje Grand Sobranje
Canada House of Commons Senate
Chile Chamber of Deputies Senate
China National People’s Congress None
Colombia Chamber of Representatives Senate
Costa Rica Legislative Assembly None
Cyprus House of Representatives None
Denmark Folketing None
Egypt National People’s Assembly None
Finland Diet None
France National Assembly Senate
Germany Bundestag Bundesrat
Greece House of Representatives None
Hungary National Assembly None
Iceland Althing Althing
India Lok Sabha Rajya Sabha
Indonesia People’s Representative Council None
Iran Majlis None
Iraq National Assembly None
Ireland Dail Senate
Isle of Man (Tynwald) House of Keys Legislative Council
Israel Knesset None
Italy Chamber of deputies Senate
Japan House of Representatives House of Councillors
Korea, South National Assembly None
Latvia Saeima None
Liechtenstein Diet None
Mexico Chamber of Deputies Senate
Netherlands CHECK
Nicaragua National Assembly None
Norway (Storting) Odelsting Lagting
Pakistan National Assembly Senate
Poland Sejm Senate
Portugal National Assembly None
Romania Chamber of Deputies Senate
Russia Duma Federation Council
South Africa National Assembly Senate
Spain (Cortes) Congress of Deputies Senate
Sweden Riksdag None
Switzerland Nationalrat Staenderat
Syria People’s Council None
Turkey National Assembly Senate
USA House of Representatives Senate
Venezuela Chamber of Deputies Senate
Zaire National Legislative Council None
Top 10 US Presidents
1 Abraham Lincoln
2 George Washington
3 Franklin Roosevelt
4 Theodore Roosevelt
5 Thomas Jefferson
6 Woodrow Wilson
7 Andrew Jackson
8 Harry Truman
9 Dwight Eisenhower
10 James Polk
Source: 1982 Chicago Tribune poll of historians & academics
Bottom Ten US Presidents
1 Warren Harding
2 Richard Nixon
3 James Buchanan
4 Franklin Pierce
5 Ulysses Grant
6 Millard Fillmore
7 Andrew Johnson
8 Calvin Coolidge
9 John Tyler
10 Jimmy Carter
Source: 1982 Chicago Tribune poll of historians & academics
Eight American Presidents to die in Office
John Kennedy - assassinated
William Harrison - natural causes
Zachary Taylor - natural causes
Warren Harding - natural causes
Franklin Roosevelt - natural causes
Abraham Lincoln - assassinated
William McKinley - assassinated
James Garfield - assassinated
US Presidents with Most Electoral College Votes
- Ronald Reagan 1984 525
- Franklin Roosevelt 1936 523
- Richard Nixon 1972 520
- Ronald Reagan 1980 489
- Lyndon Johnson 1964 486
- Franklin Roosevelt 1932 472
- Dwight Eisenhower 1956 457
- Franklin Roosevelt 1940 449
- Herbert Hoover 1928 444
- Dwight Eisenhower 1952 442
US Presidents with Highest Popular Votes
- Barack Obama 2008 69.5 million
- George W Bush 2004 60
- Ronald Reagan 1984 54.5
- George Bush 1988 48.9
- Bill Clinton 1996 47.4
- Richard Nixon 1972 47.2
- Bill Clinton 1992 44.9
- Ronald Reagan 1980 43.9
- Lyndon Johnson 1964 43.1
- Jimmy Carter 1976 40.8
Oldest US Presidents (at inauguration)
- Ronald Reagan 69
- William Harrison 68
- James Buchanan 65
- Geirge Bush 64
- Zachary Taylor 64
- Dwight Eisenhower 62
- Andrew Jackson 61
- John Adams 61
- Gerald Ford 61
- Harry Truman 60
Youngest US Presidents (at inauguration)
- Theodore Roosevelt 42
- John Kennedy 43
- Bill Clinton 46
- Ulysses Grant 46
- Barack Obama 47
- Grover Cleveland 47
- Franklin Pierce 48
- James Garfield 49
- James Polk 49
- Millard Fillmore 50
Thirteen Prime Ministers since 1935
2006 Stephen Harper
2003 Paul Martin
1993 Jean Chretien
1993 Kim Campbell
1984 Brian Mulroney
1984 John Turner
1980 Pierre Trudeau
1979 Joe Clark
1968 Pierre Trudeau
1963 Lester Pearson
1957 John Diefenbaker
1948 Louis St Laurent
1935 William MacKenzie King
Six Chinese Premiers since 1949
2003 Wen Jiabao
1998 Zhu Rongji
1988 Li Peng
1980 Zhao Ziyang
1976 Hua Guofeng
1949 Ahou Enlai
Fourteen Indian Prime Ministers since 1949
2004 Dr Manohan Singh
1998 Atal Bihari Vajpayee
1997 Inder Kumar Gujral
1996 H D Deve Gowda
1996 Atal Bihari Vajpayee
1991 PV Narasimha Rao
1990 Chandra Shekhar
1989 Vishwanath Pratap Singh
1984 Rajiv Gandhi
1980 Indira Gandhi
1979 Charan Singh
1977 Shri Morarji Ranchodji Desai
1966 Indira Gandhi
1964 Lal Bahadur Shastri
1949 Jawharlal Nehru
Sixteen New Zealand Prime Ministers Since 1940
2008 John Key
1999 Helen Clark
1997 Jenny Shipley
1990 James Bolger
1990 Michael Moore
1989 Geoffrey Palmer
1984 David Lange
1975 Sir Robert Muldoon
1974 Wallace Rowling
1972 Norman Kirk
1972 John Marshall
1960 Sir Keith Holyoake
1957 Walter Nash
1957 Sir Keith Holyoake
1949 Sir Sidney Holland
1940 Peter Fraser
Fifteen Israeli Prime Ministers since 1948
2009 Benjamin Netanyahu
2006 Ehud Olmert
2001 Ariel Sharon
1999 Ehud Barak
1996 Benjamin Netanyahu
1992 Yitzhak Rabin
1986 Yitzhak Shamir
1984 Shimon Peres
1983 Yitzhak Shamir
1977 Menachim Begin
1984 Yitzhak Rabin
1969 Golda Meir
1963 Levi Eshkol
1955 David Ben-Gurion
1953 Moshe Sharett
1948 David Ben-Gurion
Twenty Five Japanese Prime Ministers since 1960
2011 Yoshihiko Noda
2010 Naoto Kan
2009 Yukio Hatayama
2008 Taro Aso
2007 Yasuo Fukada
2006 Shinzo Abe
2001 Junichiro Koizumi
2000 Yoshiro Mori
1998 Keizo Obuchi
1996 Ryutaro Hashimoto
1994 Tomiichi Murayama
1994 Tsutomi Hata
1993 Morihiro Hosokawa
1991 Kiichi Miyazawa
1989 Toshiki Kaifu
1989 Sosuke Uno
1987 Noburu Takeshita
1982 Yasuhiro Nakasone
1980 Zenko Suzuki
1978 Masayoshi Ohira
1976 Takeo Fukuda
1974 Takeo Miki
1972 Kakuei Tanaka
1964 Eisaku Sato
1960 Hayato Ikeda
Thirteen Australian Prime Ministers Since 1945
2010 Julia Gillard
2007 Kevin Rudd
1996 John Howard
1991 Paul Keating
1983 Bob Hawke
1975 Malcolm Fraser
1972 Gough Whitlam
1971 William McMahon
1968 John Gorton
1967 John McEwen
1966 Harold Holt
1949 Robert Menzies
1945 Joseph Chifly
Last Twelve US Presidents
2008 D Barack Obama
2000 R George W Bush
1992 D Bill Clinton
1988 R George Bush
1980 R Ronald Reagan
1976 D Jimmy Carter
1974 R Gerald Ford
1968 R Richard Nixon
1963 D Lyndon Johnson
1960 D John Kennedy
1952 R Dwight Eisenhower
1944 D Harry Truman
Political Parties in European Countries
Austria
Socialist Party of Austria (SPO) - Left
Austrian People’s Party (OVP) - Right
Freedom Party (FPO) - Far Right
The Greens (VGO) - Environmental
Belgium
Christian Social Party (PSC) - Centre Rught
Christian People’s Party (CVP) - Centre Right
Communist Party (PCB/KPB) - Far Left
Freedom & Progress Party (PLP/PVV) - Right
Flemish Party (Vlammske Blok)
Francophone Democratic Front (FDF)
People’s Union (Volksunie)
Liberal Reform Party (PRL)
National Front (FN) - Far Right
Denmark
Social Democratic Party - Centre Left
Liberal Party - Right
Radical Liberal Party - Right
Conservative People’s Party - Right
Socialist People’s Party - Left
Finland
Centre Party - Centre Right
Finnish Christian League - Far Right
Finnish People’s Democratci League (SKDL) - Left
Finnish Rural Party - Centre
Finnish Social Democratic Party (SDP) - Centre Left
National Coalition Party - Right
Swedish People’s Party - Right
France
Centre of Social Democrats - Centre Right
Communist Party (PCF) - Far Left
National Front (FN) - Far Right
Rassemblement pour la Republique (RPR) - Right
Socialist Party (PS) - Left
Union Pour la Democratie Francaise (UDF) - Centre
Germany
Christian Democratic Union (CDU) - Centre Right
Christian Social Union (CSU) - Right
Social Democratic Party (SPD) - Centre Left
Free Democratic Party (FDP) - Right
National Democratic Party (NPD) - Far Right
Greens - Environment
Communist Party (KPD) - Far Left
Republican Party - Far Right
Party of Democratic Socialism (PDS) - Far Left
Greece
Pan hellenic Socialist Movement (PASOK) - Left
New Democracy - Right
Communist Party - Far Left
Progessive Party - Right
Ecologist Alternative - Environment
Political Spring
Hungary
Socialist Workers Party (HSWP) - Far Left
Alliance of Free Democrats (SzDSz) - Right
Indepndent Smallholders Party (FKgP) - Right
Hungarian Democratic Forum (HDF) - Centre Right
Hungarian Socialist Party (HSP) - Centre Left
Christian Democratic People’s Party - Right
Social Democratic Party - Left
League of Young Democrats (FIDESZ) - Right
Ireland
Fianna Fail - Centre Right
Fine Gael - Centre Left
Labour Party - Left
Sinn Fein - Far Left
Progressive Democrats - Right
Green Party - Environment
Italy
Popular Party - Centre Right
Democratic Party of the Left- Far Left
Socialist Party (PSI) - Centre Left
Italian Social Democratic Party - Centre
Republican Party (PRI) - Left
Italian Social Movement National Right (MSI-DN) - Far Right
Forza Italia - Right
Northern League - Right
Netherlands
Christian Democratic Appeal (CDA) - Centre
Labor Party (PvdA) - Left
People’s Party for Freedom & Democracy (VVD) - Right
Green Left - Environment
Norway
Labor Party (DNA) - Left
Conservative Party - Right
Centre Party - Centre
Christian Democrat Party - Centre
Liberal Party - Centre
Portugal
Socialist Party (PSP) - Left
Social Democratic Party (PSD) - Centre
Democratic Renewal Party
Communist Party - Far Left
Centre Democratic Party - Centre
Christian Democratic Party - Right
Spain
Socialist Workers Party (PSOE) - Left
Popular Alliance (AP) - Right
Popular Democratic Party - Centre Right
Communist Party - Far Left
Democratic & Social Centre - Centre Right
Partido Popular (PD) - Centre Right
National Front (FN) - Far Right
Sweden
Social Democratic Labour Party (SAP) - Centre Left
Communist Left Party (VPK) - Far Left
Centre Party - Centre
Liberal Party - Centre Right
Moderate Party - Right
New Democracy - Right
Green Ecology Party - Environment
Switzerland
Christian Democratic People’s Party - Right
Independent Alliance (LdU) - Centre
Radical Democratic Party (FDP) - Centre
Social Democratic Party - (SPS) - Centre Left
Swiss People’s Party (SVP) - Right
Turkey
True Path Party - Right
Socialist Democratic Party - Left
Motherland Party - Right
National Democratic Party - Right
United Kingdom
Conservative Party - Centre Right
Labour Party - Centre Left
Liberal Democrats - Centre Left
Scottish National Party - Left
Welsh National Party - Left
Ulster Unionist Party - Right
Political Parties World-Wide
Australia
Australian Labour Party (ALP) - Left
Liberal Party (LP) - Right
National Party (NP) - Right
Canada
Liberal Party - Centre Left
Progressive Conservative Party (PC) - Centre Right
New Democratic Party - Left
Social Credit Party
Reform Party of Canada
Parti Quebecois
India
Indian National Congress - Centre Left
Indian Natioanl Congress - Left
Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) - Right
Communist Party (CPI) - Far Left
People’s Party (Lok Dal) - Left
People’s Party (Janata Dal) - Centre Left
Japan
Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) - Centre
Japan Socilaist Party (JSP) - Left
Democratic Socialist Party - Left
Japan Communist Party (JCP) - Far Left
Clean Government Party - Centre Left
New Zealand
Alliance - Left
ACT New Zealand - Right
New Labor Party - Left
National Party - Right
New Zealand First - Right
New Zealand Labour Party - Centre
New Zealand Self Government - Maori Party
Russia
Agrarian Party
Communist Party - Left
Congress of Russian Communities - Nationalist
Forward Russia! - Right
Liberal Democratic Party - Far Right
Our Home is Russia (NDR) - Right
Power - Right
Power to the People - Nationalist
Republican Party - Centre Left
Russia’s Democratic Choice - Right
Socialist Party of Russia - Left
Women of Russia - Left
Workers’ Self Management Party - Right
Yavlinksy-Boldyrev-Lukin Bloc - Centre
South Africa
African National Congress - Left
National Party - Right
Inkatha Freedom Party - Right
Communist Party - Left
United States
Republican Party - Right
Democratic Party - Centre Right
United We Stand - Centre Right
Section Five
General Politics
Tip O’Neill’s Checklist for Successful Politicians
1 It’s a round world - what goes around comes around
2 You can accomplish anything if you’re willing to let someone else take the credit
3 Never lose your idealism
4 Lead by consent not by demand
5 You can switch a position but do it quickly and openly
6 Learn to say ‘I don’t know but I will find out’
7 KISS - Keep it simple and stupid
8 Never speak of yourself in the third person
9 Tell the truth the whole time and then you don’t have to remember what you said
10 No chore is too small
Colin Powell’s Rules of Life
- It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning
- Get mad. Then get over it.
- Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
- It can be done!
- Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
- Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
- You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.
- Check small things.
- Share credit.
- Remain calm. Be kind.
- Have a vision. Be demanding.
- Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
- Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
Source: My American Journey by Colin Powell
Key Dates in British Political History
2010 Britain’s first coalition government since 1945 is formed
2008 Financial crash
1997 Labour Party wins biggest landslide in modern political history
1992 Maastricht Treaty ratified
1989 House of Commons is televised for the first time
1982 Parliament votes to repatriate Canada’s constitution
1979 Margaret Thatcher becomes first woman Prime Minister
1975 Referendum on EEC Membership
1973 Britain enters EEC
1972 Secret ballots introduced in UK elections
1971 Ban on reporting of parliamentary proceedings lifted
1970 Eighteen year olds allowed to vote for the first time
1958 Women first allowed to sit in the House Lords
1929 Margaret Bonfield becomes first woman Cabinet Minister
1928 Voting age for women reduced to 21
1918 Women allowed to vote for the first time
1911 Parliament Act limits rights of House of Lords to veto legislation
1832 Great Reform Act
1829 Catholics given the right to sit in Parliament
1801 Act of Union between Britain and Ireland
1707 Act of Union between England and Scotland
1605 Gunpowder Plot fails to blow up Houses of Parliament
1265 Simon de Montfort convenes first English Parliament
Top Twenty Political “Isms”
Absolutism
Anarchism
Communism
Entryism
Fascism
Feminism
Federalism
Gaullism
Libertarianism
Marxism-Leninism
Maoism
Nihilism
Pacifism
Paternalism
Racism
Sexism
Socialism
Stalinism
Thatcherism
Trotskyism
Top Thirty Political Acronyms
ACAS - Arbitration & Conciliation Advisory Service
CHOGM - Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting
COREPER - Committee of Permanent Representatives at the European Commission
ECOFIN - EU Council of Economics & Finance Ministers
ECOSOC - EU Economic & Social Committee
ECU - European Currency Unit
EDM - Early Day Motion
EFTA - European Free Trade Association
EMU - European Monetary Union
FCO - Foreign & Commonwealth Office
G7 - Group of Seven
GATT - General Agreement on Tariffs & Trade
GDP - Gross Domestic Product
IGC - Inter Governmental Conference
ILO - International Labour Organisation
IPPR - Institute for Public Policy Research
NATO - North Atlantic Treaty Organisation
NEC - National Executive Committee of the Labour Party
NEDC - National Economic Development Council
OPEC - Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries
PLP - Parliamentary Labour Party
PSBR - Public Sector Borrowing Requirement
QUANGO - Quasi Autonomous Non Governmental Organisation
SDI - Strategic Defense Initiative
SDLP - Social Democratic & Labour Party
SEATO - South East Asia Treaty Organisation
SHAPE - Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe
TINA - There Is No Alternative
UDA - Ulster Defence Association
UNESCO - United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation
Top Ten Post-War Best Prime Ministers We Never Had
UNOFFICIAL
1 R A Butler
2 Denis Healey
3 Michael Heseltine
4 John Smith
5 Dr David Owen
6 Hugh Gaitskell
7 Aneurin Bevan
8 Joe Grimond
9 Dr David Owen
10 Enoch Powell
Part Six
Quotations
Top Ten Conservative Quotes
“A Conservative is a man who sits and thinks - mostly sits.”
Woodrow Wilson
“To be a Conservative is to prefer the tried to the untried, the fact to mystery, the actual to the possible, the limited to the unbounded, the near to the distant, the sufficient to the super-abundant, the convenient to the perfect present, laughter to utopian bliss.”
Michael Oakshott
“The Conservatives conserve what you’ve got, the Liberals are liberal with it and Labour gives it all away”
Ted Hunt
“Of course, nobody likes the Conservatives. They only vote for us because they think we are right.”
Peter Lilley
“In the Conservative Party we have no truck with outmoded Marxist doctrine about class warfare. For us it is not who you are, who your family is or where you come from that matters, but what you are and what you can do for your country that counts.”
Margaret Thatcher
“A liberal conservative is a man who thinks things out to progress but would rather they remained as they are”
Fitzjames Stephens
“A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy.”
Benjamin Disraeli
“What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and the untried.”
Abraham Lincoln
“There is always a certain meanness in the argument of conservatism, joined with a certain superiority in its fact.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nothings commends a radical change to an Englishman more than the belief that it is really conservative.”
H A L Fisher
Top Ten Quotes on Socialism
“An extreme Socialist is one who wants to abolish Public Schools tomorrow. A moderate Socialist wants to abolish them after his children have finished going there.”
Norman Tebbit
“I sometimes think the Labour Party is like a pub where the mild is running out. If someone does not do something soon, all that is left will be bitter and all that is bitter will be left.”
Margaret Thatcher
“As with the Christian religion, the worst advert for socialism is its adherents.”
George Orwell
“I haven’t read Karl Marx. I got stuck on the footnote on page two.”
Harold Wilson
“Socialism is nothing but the capitalism of the lower classes.”
Oswald Spengler
“As far as socialism means anything, it must be about the wider distribution of smoked salmon and caviar.”
Richard Marsh
“The term ‘democratic socialist’ makes as much sense as ‘pregnant virginity’.”
Russell Prowse, Australian Industrialist
“Democracy and socialism are means to an end, not the end itself.”
Jawaharlal Nehru
“The typical Socialist is...a prim little man with a white collar job, usually a secret teetotaller and often with vegetarian leanings, with a history of Nonconformity behind him, and, above all, with a social position which he has no intention of forfeitting.”
George Orwell
“Socialism is nothing but the capitalism of the working class”
Oswald Sprengler
Top Ten Liberal Quotes
“We all know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.”
Aneurin Bevan
“The trouble with many Liberals is that they talk a lot of cock.”
Cyril Smith, Former Liberal MP
“Liberal - worshipper of power without power.”
George Orwell
“If God had been a Liberal there would not have been ten commandments, there would have been ten suggestions.”
Malcolm Bradbury, Author
“The closest thing to a Tory in disguise is a Whig in power.”
Benjamin Disraeli
“A Liberal is a man who leaves a room before the fight begins.”
Heywood Broun
“A Liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.”
Robert Frost
“I have the good fortune to be the first Liberal leader for half a century who is able to say at the end of our general assembly: go back to your constituencies and prepare for government.”
David Steel in 1981
“A Radical is a man with both feet firmly planted - in the air. A Conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. A Reactionary is a somnambulist walking backwards. A Liberal is a man who uses his legs and his hands at the behest - at the command of his head.”
Franklin D Roosevelt
“Testators would do well to provide some indication of the particular Liberal Party which they have in mind, such as a telephone number or a Christian name.”
A P Herbert
Top Ten Quotes on Political Power
“Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct”
Thomas Jefferson
“I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office.”
Thomas Jefferson
“Anyone who deliberately tries to get himself elected to a public office is permanently disqualified from holding one.”
Thomas More
“Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.”
Mao Tse Tung
“Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who possess it; and this I know, my Lords, that where law ends, tyranny begins.”
William Pitt
“The depository of power is always unpopular.”
Benjamin Disraeli
“Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
Adlai Stevenson
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character give him power.”
Abraham Lincoln
“I have an enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I am a famous person. I represent real power.”
Newt Gingrich
“Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
Margaret Thatcher
“Political power, properly so called, is merely the organised power of one class for oppressing another.”
Karl Marx
Top Ten Quotes on the Commons & Lords
“The Commons must bray like asses every day to appease their electoral hordes.”
A P Herbert
“If only the House of Commons had emulated the Lords’ admirable inactivity, we should have been saved from a great many foolish acts.”
Lambert Jeffries
“But then the prospect of a lot of dull MPs in close proximity, all thinking for themselves, is what no man can face with equanimity.”
W S Gilbert
“The cure for admiring the House of Lords is to go and look at it.”
Walter Bagehot
“I don’t go to the House of Lords anymore. I went once but my umbrella was stolen by a Bishop.”
Lord Berners
“The British House of lords is the British Outer Mongolia for retired politicians.”
Tony Benn
“The House of Commons is absolute. It is the State. L’Etat c’est moi.”
Benjamin Disraeli (Coningsby, 1844)
“There is no more striking illustration of the immobility of British institutions than the House of Commons.”
Herbert Asquith
“The House of Lords, an illusion to which I have never been able to subscribe - responsibility without power, the prerogative of the eunuch throughout the ages.”
Tom Stoppard
“The House of Lords is a perfect eventide home.”
Baroness Stocks
Top Ten Quotes on Democracy
“Those who would enjoy the pleasures of democracy, said the doctor, must school themselves to suffer the law’s delay”
Ivor Brown
“Democracy means Government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.”
Clement Attlee
“Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who will get the blame.”
Bertrand Russell
“A People’s Republic is a place where you do what you are told or get shot. National Liberation Movements are organisations that are trying to create People’s Republics.”
Thomas Sowell
“A democracy is a government in the hands of low birth, no property and vulgar employments.”
Aristotle
“The disadvantage of free elections is that you can never be sure who is going to win them.”
Molotov
“The world is weary of statesmen whom democracy has degraded into politicians.”
Benjamin Disraeli
“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people.”
Oscar Wilde
“Without democracy Socialism would be worth nothing, but democracy is worth a great deal even when it is not Socialist.”
A J P Taylor
“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and they are right.
H L Mencken
Top Ten Quotes on Economics
“There are two problems in my life. The political ones are insoluble and the economic ones are incomprehensible.”
Alec Douglas Home
“Private greed is making money selling people what they want. Public service is failing to sell them what they don’t want.”
Thomas Sowell
“One man’s wage increase is another man’s price increase.”
Harold Wilson
“It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job. It’s a depression when you lose your own.”
Harry Truman
“Good news is, a bus full of supply-siders went over the cliff. Bad news is, there were three empty seats.”
Bob Dole
“Compassion is the use of tax money to buy votes. Insensitivity is the objection to the use of tax money to buy votes.”
Thomas Sowell
“Balancing your budget is like protecting your virtue - you have to learn when to say no.”
Ronald Reagan
“Balancing the budget is like going to heaven. Everybody wants to do it but nobody wants to make the trip.”
Phil Gramm
“Politically there is no record of the continuance of political freedoms when economic freedoms have died.”
Rhodes Boyson
“Economics are the method; the object is to change the soul.”
Margaret Thatcher
Top Ten Quotes by Sir Humphrey Appleby
“Reorganising the civil service is like drawing a knife through a bowl of marbles.”
“Government is about principles. And the principle is, never act on principle.”
“Central Government must not interfere with the right of freely elected local councils to pour ratepayers money down the drain.”
“A good political speech is not one in which you can prove that the man is telling the truth; it is one where no one else can tell he is lying.”
“If the Prime Minister is told something personally, even if he doesn’t know it officially, he can use his personal knowledge to start official inquiries to get official confirmation of personal suspicions so that what he originally knew personally but not officially he will then know officially as well as personally.”
“Turning a blind eye to corruption could never be government policy. It is merely government practice.”
“Any statement in a politician’s memoirs can represent one of six levels of reality - what happened, what he believed happened, what he would have like to have happened, what he wants to believe happened, what he wants other people to believe happened, what he wants other people to believe he believe happened.”
“Stalling Ministers: the 5 stage approach. 1 - The administration is in its early months and there’s an awful lot to do at once.. 2 - Something ought to be done but is this the right way to achieve it? 3 - The idea is good but the time is not ripe. 4 - The proposal has run into technical, logistical and legal difficulties which are being sorted out. 5 - Never refer to the matter or reply to the Minister’s notes. By the time he taxes you with it face to face you should be able to say it looks unlikely if anything can be done until after the election.”
“Irregular verb: I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist.”
“Being an MP is a vast subsidised ego-trip. It’s a job that needs no qualifications, it has no compulsory hours of work, no performance standards and provides a warm room, a telephone and subsidised meals to a bunch of self-important windbags and busybodies who suddenly find themselves being taken seriously because they’ve got the letters ‘MP’ after their name.”
Top Ten Political Insults
“When they circumcised Herbert Samuel they threw away the wrong bit.”
David Lloyd George, Prime Minister 1916-21
“The Liberals are a beanbag kind of a party that looks like the last person who sat in it.”
Bob Rae, former Premier of Ontario
“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
Mark Twain, author
“The Right Honourable Gentleman’s smile is like the fittings on a coffin.”
Benjamin Disraeli to Sir Robert Peel
“My views of him (Newt Gingrich) are somewhat similar to those of a fire hydrant toward a dog.”
Jim Wright, former Speaker of the US House of Representatives
“Mr Benn is a kind of perennial youth who immatures with age.”
Harold Wilson
“In any civilised country Heath would have been left hanging upside down from a petrol pump years ago.”
Auberon Waugh
“Jerry’s the only man I ever knew who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.”
Lyndon Johnson
“I wouldn’t piss down Jerry Brown’s throat if his heart was on fire.”
James Carville, Adviser to Bill Clinton
“Arthur Scargill possesses the remarkable ability to blush when telling the truth.”
David Hunt OBE MP, Former Cabinet Minister
Top Ten Memorable One Liners from Margaret Thatcher
“It will be years, and not in my timer, before a woman will lead the Party or become Prime Minister.”
1974
“No! No! No!”
Opposing proposals put forward by Jacques Delors, 1990
Just rejoice, rejoice!
To reporters after the recapture of South Georgia
For those waiting with baited breath for that media catch phrase the U turn I just have one thing to say. The lady’s not for turning.”
At the 1981 Conservative Party Conference
Every Prime Minister needs a Willie
“Being in power is like being a lady - if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t”
Margaret Thatcher
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you tonight in my green chiffon evening gown, my face softly made up, my hair softly waved….The Iron Lady of the Western World? Me? A cold warrior? Well, yes - if that is how they wish to interpret my defence of the values and freedom fundamental to our way of life.”
Referring to the Soviet magazine Red Star which was the first to call her the Iron Lady.
“Where there is discord may we bring harmony.”
Quoting St Francis of Assisi, May 1979
“We have become a Grandmother.”
“I fight on, I fight to win.”
1990
Top Ten Quotes on the Art of Politics
“Politics is show business for ugly people.”
Paul Begala, Adviser to Bill Clinton
“The art of politics is learning to walk with your back to the wall, your elbows high and a smile on your face.”
Jean Chretien, Canadian prime Minister
“Sex is like politics. You don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it.”
Barrie Goldwater, Former US Senator
“Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.”
J K Galbraith
“Politics is just like show business. You have a hell of an opening, you coast for a while, you have a hell of a closing.”
Ronald Reagan
“A politician is an animal who can sit on the fence and keep both ears to the ground.”
H L Mencken
“A politician is a person with whose politics you do not agree. If you agree with him he is a Statesman.”
David Lloyd George
“If you see a snake, kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes.”
Ross Perot
“As a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.”
Charles de Gaulle
“There is no act of treachery or meanness of which a political party is not capable, for in politics there is no honour.”
Benjamin Disraeli
Top Ten Bushisms
President Bush was renowned for his difficulties with the English language...
“You cannot be President of the United States if you don’t have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the civil war and all that stuff. You can’t be. And we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for - don’t cry for me Argentina.”
Stressing the importance of praying to New Hampshire voters
“It has been said by some cynic, maybe it was a former President, ‘if you want a friend in Washington get a dog’. We took them literally - that advice - as you know. But I didn’t need that because I have Barbara.”
“I’ve got to run now and relax. The doctor told me to relax. The doctor told me to relax. The doctor told me. He was the one. He said ‘relax’”.
At the end of a press conference
“When I need a little free advice about Saddam Hussein I turn to country music.”
At an awards ceremony in Nashville
“I don’t want to get, you know, here we are close to the election - sounding a knell of overconfidence that I don’t feel.”
In an interview with Sir David Frost
“Boy they were big crematoriums weren’t they?”
During a visit to Auschwitz
“I’ve got to be careful I don’t overcheerlead on this economy.”
“There’s no difference between me and the President on taxes. No more nit-picking. Zip-ah-dee-doo-dah. Now it’s off to the races!”
“The Democrats want to ram it down my ear in a political victory.”
“I put confidence in the American people, in their ability to sort through what is fair and what is unfair, what is ugly and unugly.”
Top Ten Quotes from President Reagan
“Please tell me you’re Republicans.”
To surgeons as he entered the operating room, March 30 1981
“We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.”
Normandy, June 6 1984
“We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them - this morning, as they prepared for their journey, and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.”
Speech about the Challenger disaster, January 28 1986
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.”
August 15 1986
“The other day, someone told me the difference between a democracy and a people’s democracy. It’s the same difference between a jacket and a strait-jacket.”
December 10 1986
“How do you tell a Communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an Anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.”
September 25 1987
“Mr Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
Berlin, 1987
“A friend of mine was asked to a costume ball a short time ago. He slapped some egg on his face and went as a liberal economist.”
February 11 1987
“History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.”
January 16 1984
“Welfare’s purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence.”
January 7 1970
Top Ten Politician’s Comments on The Spice Girls
“I think I’ve heard of them very vaguely…They’re not lesbians are they?”
George Walden MP
“Of course I know the Spice Girls. There’s posters all over London. But I’m not led to make serious speculation about Spice Girl meanings.”
Peter Lilley MP
“Perhaps the Spice Girls are the last vestige of Eighties self interest and self gratification.”
Michael Connarty MP
“I have teenage children and I know one Spice Girls song which is rather good. It goes ‘If you want to get my something or other, then you better get it together baby’…I sing all these pop songs about the house and then my daughter will tell me that the words have got all these dreadful hidden meanings.”
Gary Streeter MP
“I saw them briefly the other day on Des O’Connor. They were a bit giggly and I turned it over. My taste is Meat Loaf.”
Kevin Barron
“Oh, they’re straight from the shoulder and refreshing. I would call them the Spicer Girls. Bare midriffs. I’d love to have these girls canvassing with me. Do I get my wrists slapped if I call them girls? Of course, Margaret Thatcher was the first.”
Sir James Spicer MP
“Like Margaret Thatcher they are here today gone tomorrow entertainers.”
Simon Hughes MP
“Whether they’re a reflection of their contemporaries is hard to see. They sound pretty vacuous women to me.”
Kim Howells MP
“I’m not up to date on the pop chart. I’m just a bit concerned they’re not the group I condemned for doing all sorts of nasty lesbian things on stage.”
Female Tory MP
“I’ve been a secret Spice Girls fan for a long time.”
Michael Portillo MP
(coutesy of John Hind, Observer, 15 December 1996)
Top Ten Quotes on Political Leadership
“You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that’s assault, not leadership”
Dwight Eisenhower
“The boss says ‘go’. The leader says ‘let’s go’.
Dwight Eisenhower
“Leadership means not having to be completely in harmony with everyone else.”
Winston Churchill
“I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.”
Ralph Nader, US political activist
“I must follow them. I am their leader.”
Andrew Bonar Law, Prime Minister 1921
“A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but where they ought to be.”
Rosalynn Carter, US First Lady, 1977-81
“A leader must be able to concentrate under difficult conditions, to keep his head when all around him are losing theirs.”
Ross Perot
“A leader is a dealer in hope.”
Napoleon Bonaparte
“Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purposes not to make a great show in the world, nor a name. There is but one just use of power and it is to serve the people.”
George Bush
Top Ten Memorable One Liners from Norman Tebbit
Third Best. It’s called ‘going for bronze’ I believe
On the Alliance’s Going For Gold slogan in the 1987 election
“He likes to pose as Margaret Thatcher in drag to pick up Tory votes.”
On David Owen
“Those who stand outside the town hall an scream and throw rotten eggs are not the real unemployed. If they were really hard up they would be eating them.”
“Why don’t you go and have another heart attack.”
To Labour MP Tom Litterick
“I use the word ‘neuter’ when I talk about what I am doing to the trade unions because I’ve been told I mustn’t use the vernacular.”
“Take a sedative”
To Denis Healey
“As usual you have spent more time with your mouth open rather than your ears.”
To Dennis Skinner
“I’m older than you are sonny and you can take me on when you grow up.”
To Neil Kinnock
“I grew up in the Thirties with our unemployed Father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work.”
Speech at Tory Party Conference, 15 October 1981
“The cricket test - which side do they cheer for? Are you still looking back to where you came from or where you are?”
On the loyalties of British immigrants
Top Ten Conservative-Conservative Insults
“Mr Chamberlain who looked and spoke like a cheese-monger.”
Benjamin Disraeli on Joseph Chamberlain
“She has done as much for our party as King Herod did for baby sitting.”
Andrew Mackay MP on Edwina Currie
“Margaret Thatcher and Ted Heath both have a great vision. The difference is that Margaret Thatcher has a vision that Britain will, one day be great again, and Ted Heath has a vision that one day Ted Heath will be great again.”
Tory MP Robert Jones
“He is forever poised between a cliché and an indiscretion.”
Harold Macmillan on Sir Anthony Eden
“Receiving support from Ted Heath in a by-election is like being measured by an undertaker.”
George Gardiner
“Reminds me of the expression my mother used: ‘empty vessels make the most noise.”
Anne Winterton on Edwina Currie
“He has the lucidity which is the by-product of a fundamentally sterile mind.”
Aneurin Bevan on Neville Chamberlain
“I wouldn’t say she was open-minded on the Middle East, so much as empty headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.”
Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Thatcher
“She has done as much for our Party as King Herod did for baby sitting.”
Andrew MacKay on Edwina Currie
“Decided only to be undecided, resolved to be resolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.”
Winston Churchill on Stanley Baldwin
Top Ten Labour-Conservative Insults
“A bounder, a liar, a deceiver, a cheat, a crook”.
Tam Dalyell on Margaret Thatcher after the sinking of the Belgrano
“A semi house trained polecat”
Michael Foot on Norman Tebbit
“Like a boil on a verruca.”
Neil Kinnock on Norman Tebbit
“The Prime Minister tells us she has given the French President a piece of her mind - not a gift I would receive with alacrity.”
Denis Healey on Margaret Thatcher
“They are nothing else but a load of kippers - two faced with no guts.”
Eric Heffer
“ Meeting David Mellor is like being hit in the face with a mouthful of Brylcream.”
John Edmonds on David Mellor
“Putting Norman Tebbit in charge of industrial relations is like appointing Dracula to take charge of blood transfusions.”
Eric Varley on Norman Tebbit
“Fifty per cent genius - fifty per cent bloody fool.”
Clement Attlee on Winston Churchill
“They are nothing else but a load of kippers - two faced, with no guts”
Eric Heffer describing Conservatives
“He is undoubtedly living proof that a pig’s bladder on a stick can be elected as a Member of Parliament.”
Tony Banks on Terry Dicks
Top Ten Conservative-Labour Insults
“The self appointed king of the gutter.”
Michael Heseltine on Neil Kinnock
“He is a sheep in sheep’s clothing”
Winston Churchill on Clement Attlee
“As far as the fourteenth Earl is concerned, I suppose that Mr Wilson, when you come to think of it, is the fourteenth Mr Wilson.”
Sir Alec Douglas Home in 1963
“The Honourable Member for two tube stations.”
Sir Nicholas Fairbairn on Frank Dobson (MP for Holborn & St Pancras)
“A tardy little marionette.”
Randolph Churchill on Clement Attlee
“The voters are not daft. They can smell a rat whether it is wrapped up in a red flag or covered in roses.”
Norman Tebbit
“The inherent virtue of Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.”
Winston Churchill
“Far better to keep your mouth shut and let every one think you’re stupid than to open it and leave no doubt.”
Norman Tebbit on Dennis Skinner
“The boneless wonder.”
Winston Churchill on Ramsay MacDonald
“Neil Kinnock’s speeches go on for so long because he has nothing to say, so he has no way of knowing when he has finished saying it.”
John Major on Neil Kinnock
Top Ten Labour-Labour Insults
“A guide to Bennite Britain - not so much a labour of love as a premature ejaculation.”
Austen Mitchell on Labour’s 1983 election manifesto
“He’s just a little man who’s been stupid.”
George Brown on Harold Wilson after his 1976 resignation
He just cannot be allowed to go on rushing round like a demented Santa Claus, scattering imaginary tenners from his sleigh.”
Neil Kinnock on Michael Meacher
“A kind of ageing, perennial tough who immatures with age.”
Harold Wilson on Tony Benn
“As Moses he would have mistimed his arrival at the parting of the waters.”
Austin Mitchell on Jim Callaghan
“He seems determined to make a trumpet sound like a tin whistle. He brings to the fierce struggle of politics the tepid enthusiasm of a lazy summer afternoon at a cricket match.”
Aneurin Bevan on Clement Attlee
“He is quite stoically bland. The sheer blandness is so totally inherent that it is quite difficult to embarrass him. “
Brian Sedgemore on Tony Blair
“Nye’s little dog.”
Hugh Dalton on Harold Wilson
“A desiccating calculating machine.”
Aneurin Bevan on Hugh Gaitskell
“Sit down man, you’re a bloody tragedy.”
James Maxton to Ramsay MacDonald
Top Ten Things Politicians Said & Wished They Hadn’t
“No woman in my time will be Prime Minister or Foreign Secretary - not the top jobs. Anyway I wouldn’t want to be Prime Minister. You have to give yourself one hundred per cent to the job.”
Margaret Thatcher
“Solidarity is undermining the Socialist State of Poland.”
Arthur Scargill
“One feels that Uganda cannot afford General Amin’s warm hearted generosity.”
The Times
“I have the thermometer in my mouth and I am listening to it all the time.”
William Whitelaw
“Most of the egg production in this country sadly is now infected with salmonella.”
Edwina Currie, 1988
“There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe, and there never will be under a Ford administration.”
President Ford, 1976
“We’ll negotiate a withdrawal from the EEC which has drained our natural resources and destroyed jobs.”
Tony Blair, 1983
“Je ne regrette rien.”
Norman Lamont
“Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government.”
David Steel
“Read my lips, no new taxes.”
President Bush, 1988
Part Seven
Sex, Money & Scandal
Ten Politicians Women Find Most Attractive
- Peter Mandelson
- Paddy Ashdown
- Tony Blair
- Michael Portillo
- Stephen Dorrell
- Gordon Brown
- John Redwood
- Michael Heseltine
- John Major
- Ken Livingstone
(Source NOP, November 1996)
Ten Politicians Women Find Most Unattractive
- David Mellor
- John Prescott
3. John Major
- Ken Livingstone
- Michael Heseltine
- Dennis Skinner
- David Blunkett
- Kenneth Clarke
- Michael Howard
- Jack Straw
(Source NOP, November 1996)
Ten Politicians Forum Magazine Readers Find Sexy
- Tony Blair (25% males, 35% females)
- Virginia Bottomley (35% males, 15% females)
- Harriet Harman (30% males, 20% females)
- Michael Portillo (30% males, 20% females)
- Clare Short (15% males, 15% females)
- Paddy Ashdown (8% males, 13% males)
- Diane Abbott (10% males, 10% females)
- Betty Boothroyd (10% males, 10% females)
- John Major (5% males, 15 % females)
- Gordon Brown (10% males, 10% females)
(Source: Forum Magazine, 1994)
Ten Politicians Forum Magazine Readers Find a Turn-Off
- Margaret Beckett (45% males, 50% females)
- Robin Cook (35% males, 30% females)
- Ken Clarke (15% males, 40% females)
- Virginia Bottomley (25% males, 25% females)
- John Major (30% males, 15% females)
- Clare Short (20% males, 25% females)
- Sir Norman Fowler (15% males, 5% females)
- Douglas Hurd (5% males, 10% females)
(Source: Forum Magazine 1994)
Thirteen Politicians Involved in Gay Scandals
Lord Harcourt Liberal Peer who committed suicide in 1922
Earl Beauchamp Fled abroad in 1931
Lord Farquhar Involved in homosexual scandal
William Field Caught in public lavatories
Ian Harvey Accused on importuning a guardsman in St James Park
Jeremy Thorpe Accused of gay affair with male model Norman Scott
Dr Keith Hampson Found not guilty of indecently assaulting policeman
Allan Roberts Accused of sex offences with teenage youths
Harvey Proctor Fined £1,450 for spanking rent boys
Alan Amos Arrested but not charged with indecency
Michael Brown Only came out after tabloids exposed affair with youth
Jerry Hayes Research Assistant sold story of alleged gay affair
Ron Davies Resigned after alleged cruise on Clapham Common
Clive Betts Scandal involving gay Brazilian researcher
David Laws Resigned after expense scandal involving paying rent to partner
Top Ten Signs You’re in Love With a Politician
UNOFFICIAL
1 When you see him on TV you start licking the screen
2 You call the Parliamentary Channel requesting a tape of his greatest speeches
3 Your name is Sara Keays
4 You write to the Queen suggesting his birthday is declared a national holiday
5 You just luuuurve those double chins
6 You’re turned on by the sight of his despatch box
7 You buy up remaindered copies of his memoirs so his feelings won’t be hurt
8 You tell all your friends that his wife just doesn’t understand him
9 You spend all your holidays in his constituency
10 You’d give him your last rolo
Top Ten David Mellor Campaign Slogans
UNOFFICIAL
1 I promise I’ll keep my pants on
2 No worse than Paddy Ashdown
3 Four fewer than Steve Norris
4 Because everyone deserves another chance
5 Come up and see my CD collection
6 All aboard the 606
7 He won’t take the Chelsea shirt off your back
8 I’m only in it for the babes
9 David Mellor - any time, any place anywhere
10 Paaaarty!
Politician’s Chat Up Lines
UNOFFICIAL
1 Would you like to see the contents of my despatch box?
2 Have you ever had a whip?
3 Hello, I’m David Mellor
4 I’ve asked Angie to join us, you don’t mind do you?
5 I’ve asked Bobby to join us, you don’t mind do you?
6 I’m so depressed about the world crisis I really don’t think I should spend tonight alone
7 In your honour I’m naming 1997 the International Year of the Babe
8 Hi there. My name’s, er, Martin
9 Ever done it in the lobby?
10 You know what they say about Black Rod?
Conservative Political Turn Ons
UNOFFICIAL
1 Matron
2 St Trinians films
3 Mrs Thatcher
4 Edwina Currie’s legs
5 Dame Janet Fookes
6 Joanna Lumley
7 Euroboys
8 William Hague’s bald patch
9 Alan Duncan’s winsome smile
10 Cecil Parkinson’s leer
Old Labour Political Turn Ons
UNOFFICIAL
1 Tony Benn
2 Mushy peas
3 Whippets
4 Flat caps
5 Miners
6 Sheffield
7 Dennis Skinner’s eyes
8 Glorious election defeats
9 Alma Sedgwick
10 Marx’s Das Kapital
New Labour Political Turn Ons
UNOFFICIAL
1 Tony Blair
2 Avocado dip
3 The chairs at Pont de la Tour
4 The grass on Hampstead Heath
5 John Prescott’s love handles
6 Harriet Harman’s hemline
7 Stephen Twigg’s mane
8 Peter Mandelson’s moustache
9 Tessa Jowell’s pout
10 Dawn Primarolo’s school mistress act
Top Twenty Visually Challenged Politicians
(and we don’t mean they need glasses)
UNOFFICIAL
1 David Mellor
2 John Bowis
3 Douglas Hogg
4 Robin Cook
5 Ann Widdecombe
6 Donald Anderson
7 Sir Patrick Cormack
8 Norman Baker
9 Jackie Ballard
10 Margaret Beckett
11 Andrew Bennett
12 Clive Betts
13 Malcolm Chisholm
14 Charles Clarke
15 Gwynneth Dunwoody
16 George Howarth
17 Ian McCartney
18 Peter Pike
19 Brian Iddon
20 John Gummer
Top Twenty Most Good Looking Male Politicians
UNOFFICIAL
1 Michael Portillo
2 Cecil Parkinson
3 Stephen Twigg
4 Steve Norris
5 John Bercow
6 Tony Blair
7 Michael Moore
8 Nicholas St Aubyn
9 Ben Bradshaw
10 Alistair Darling
11 David Davis
12 Alan Duncan
13 Liam Fox
14 Andrew George
15 Bernard Jenkin
16 Christopher Leslie
17 Andrew MacKay
18 Michael Meacher
19 Michael Foster
20 Shaun Woodward
Top Twenty Most Good Looking Female Politicians
UNOFFICIAL
1 Oona King
2 Virginia Bottomley
3 Siobhain McDonagh
4 Anne McIntosh
5 Julie Kirkbride
6 Tessa Jowell
7 Harriet Harman
8 Caroline Flint
9 Dawn Primarolo
10 Charlotte Atkins
11 Judith Church
12 Yvette Cooper
13 Elizabeth Blackman
14 Jean Corston
15 Angela Browning
16 Joan Ruddock
17 Claire Ward
18 Angela Eagle
19 Maria Eagle
20 Karen Buck
Top Ten Politicians Gays Find Attractive
UNOFFICIAL
1 Michael Portillo
2 Peter Lilley
3 Margaret Thatcher
4 John Redwood
5 Stephen Twigg
6 Ben Bradshaw
7 Matthew Taylor
8 Sebastian Coe
9 Claire Short
10 Peter Mandelson
Part Eight
More Unofficial Lists
Ten Fictional Works Featuring Margaret Thatcher
1 God and all his Angels (novel by Graham Lord)
2 Titmuss Regained (novel by John Mortimer)
3 First Among Equals (novel by Jeffrey Archer)
4 New Statesman (Yorkshire TV)
5 The Negotiator (novel by Frederick Forsyth)
6 Operation 10 (novel by Hardiman Scott)
7 Anyone for Denis (West End Comedy)
8 XPD (novel by Len Deighton)
9 Electric Beach (novel by Laurence Rees)
10 The child in time (novel by Ian McEwan)
MPs’ Eight Most Over-Rated Authors
1 Jeffrey Archer
2 Salman Rushdie
3 Henry James
4 Martin Amis
5 D H Lawrence
6 Karl Marx
7 Enid Blyton
8 Iris Murdoch
(Dillons survey, 1996)
MPs’ Four Greatest Political Books Ever
1 The Prince - Machiavelli
2 Ragged Trousered Philanthropists - Robert Tressell
3 On Liberty - J S Mill
4 Diaries - Alan Clark
(Dillons survey, 1996)
MPs’ Favourite Ever Books
1 The Bible
2 Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen
3 Lord of the Rings - Tolkein
4 The Iliad - Homer
5 Germinal - Emile Zola
6 Modern Times - Paul Johnson
(Dillons survey 1996)
MPs’ Favourite ever authors
1 Alexander Solzhenitzyn
2 Martin Amis
3 Doris Lessing
4 Colin Thubron
5 Gore Vidal
6 David Lodge
(Dillons survey 1996)
Ten Author Politicians
1 Rupert Allason - author of various worthy tomes on spies an counter intelligence under the pen name Nigel West. Elected for Torbay in 1992 but lost by only twelve votes in 1997
2 Jeffrey Archer - The author ‘daddy of them all. Jeffrey Archer was MP for Louth from 1969-74 and in the mid 1980s was appointed Deputy Chairman of the Conservative. Has written a dozen novels many containing a political plot.
3 Gyles Brandreth - More famous for his jumpers on the late, lamented TVam the former MP for Chester has penned a couple of novels as well as a rather early autobiography. None of them troubled the Top Ten Bestsellers lists
4 Vaclav Havel - President of the Czech Republic and all round good egg Mr Havel’s superb plays have now almost been forgotten as his political career has eclipsed his writing.
5 Douglas Hurd - Co-authored several excellent works of fiction in the early 1970s with Andrew Osmond. Rumoured to be working on a new one at the moment.
6 Edwina Currie - Bonkbusteress extraordinaire her tails of kinky sex in the Commons were secretly ready by most MPs but only a few would ever admit to it.
7 Tim Renton - Author of two books with a political plot. Now in competition with his wife who has also penned a new book.
8 Benjamin Disraeli - Even more famous than Jeffrey Archer in his day. If Disraeli ever wanted to read a book, he wrote it.
9 Michael Dobbs - Formerly Norman Tebbit’s chief of staff at Conservative Central Office Dobbs shot to fame for his trilogy featuring the outwardly urbane yet cunningly clever Chief Whip Francis Urquhart,
10 Newt Gingrich - US Speaker of the House of Representatives who also wrote a novel called ‘1945’. Truly awful.
Top Ten Ways of Spotting a Bleeding Heart Liberal
1 You go pink with rage at the thought of paedophiles being executed, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice
2 You believe animals can think, trees have feelings and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm
3 You don’t believe in marriage, except for homosexuals
4 You are quite happy to legalise drugs and outlaw handguns
5 You are permanently ‘worried’ about things and you use the word ‘community’ a lot
6 You don’t think Gerry Adams is all bad
7 You think the rehabilitation of criminals is more important than punishing them
8 You think that whatever their level, taxes should be increased
9 Gordon Brown’s neoindogenous growth theory turns you on
10 You don’t understand people who are against positive discrimination and are more than happy to sacrifice someone else’s job to assuage your own guilt
Ten Things You Always Wanted to Know about The Economist
- Economists rarely read it
- It’s got two lovely staples
- It looks good on your coffee table
- Comes with a very elegant binder
- Easy to throw away
- Has a number at the top of each page
- Its predictions are rarely worth taking much notice of
- Has a nice picture and witty slogan on the cover
- Tries desperately to compete with Time but can’t
- It’s not American, though you could be forgiven for wondering
Craig Brown’s Top Ten Most Unlikely Political Headlines
1 Exclusive: Norman Fowler - No Second Volume of Memoirs
2 Two Sides to Every Question Argues Paisley
3 Malcolm Rifkind Makes Interesting Point
4 Thatcher’s Shock Admission: I am No Longer Prime Minister
5 I May Be Some Time - Antarctic Survivors Find Edwina Currie Note
6 Saddam Admits Moustache “Big Mistake” - Agrees to Shave
7 Tory MP in Two in a Bed Love Romp with Own Wife
8 More Money than Sense - St John of Fawsley Slams Royal Family
9 Sir Edward Heath Wakes Early to Bag Poolside Lounger before Germans
10 Lord Owen Goes it Alone Then Splits with Self
Top Ten Ways Politicians Avoid Answering the Question
1 Ignoring the question
2 Acknowledging the question without answering
3 Questioning the question
4 Attacking the question
5 Attacking the interviewer
6 Declining to answer
7 Giving an incomplete answer
8 Repeating the previous answer
9 Claiming to have already answered the question
10 Making a political point
Top Ten Ways Margaret Thatcher Stalled Interviewers
1 No, please let me go on
2 May I just finish
3 One moment
4 I must beg of you
5 Will you give me time
6 May I now and then say a word in my own defence
7 I would love to go on
8 Please, there’s just another thing
9 No, don’t stop me
10 No, let me stand up for my government
(Source, Dr Peter Bull & Kate Meyer: How Margaret Thatcher & Neil Kinnock Avoid Answering Questions in Political Interviews, 1988)
Margaret Thatcher’s Desert Island Discs
Emperor Piano Concerto by Beethoven
Going home from Dvorak’s New World Symphony
Excerpts from Verdi’s Aida
Nutty Walt, a Bob Newhardt Comedy Sketch
Smoke gets in your eyes by Irene Dunn
Elijah by Felix Mendelssohn
Andante for Trumpet by Saint Preux
Easter Hymn Cavalleria Risticana by Mascagni
Neil Kinnock’s Desert Island Discs
Byrn Calfaria
Di quella Pira from Verdi’s opera Il Trovatore
Serenade from Bizet’s opera, The Fair Maid of Perth
Symphony Number 1 by Brahms
Wake up little Susie by Simon & Garfunkel
Imagine by John Lennon
Yada Yada by Dory Previn
Horace the Horse sung by his two year old daughter Rachel
Tony Blair’s Desert Island Discs
Cancel Today by Ezio
Wishing Well by Free
Fourth of July, Asbury Park by Bruce Springsteen
Love theme from Elephant Man
Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber
Clair de Lune by Debussy
In my Life by the Beatles
Cross Road Blues by Robert Johnson
Ten Questions Not to Ask…
John Major: How many O Levels have you got?
Paddy Ashdown: How come we can’t see your eyes?
Tony Blair: Where do you get your teeth polished?
Cherie Booth: How much has playing the dutiful wife cost you in lost fees?
John Prescott: I suppose a gin and tonic is out of the question?
Margaret Thatcher: Did John Major really have a problem with his wisdom teeth?
Jack Cunningham: What do you do all day?
Cecil Parkinson: So, do you think the Child Support Agency has been a success?
Gordon Brown: So what’s the story with your chin?
Nicholas Soames: So what’s the story with your chins?
Top Ten Political Medical Complaints
Sadomasochism: The condition in which you switch over to ITN’s News at Ten even though you have watched the BBC’ specially extended Nine O’Clock News. If you then switch to BBC 2’s Newsnight you should consult a specialist.
Alexia: Word blindness, or Tony Blair’s inability to pronounce certain words - specifically “socialism”.
Halitosis: Insulting odour emitted when a manifesto promise emerging from a politician’s mouth is so implausible that it stinks.
Premeditation: Disease that erupts around the dinner table when everyone suddenly; becomes convinced they know the outcome of the election.
Irritable colon: Pain in the backside, such as Jack Straw in his sanctimonious moods.
Compulsive Talking: Starts with grimaces and progresses to involuntary comments as the affliction often worsens, often culminating in episodes of coprolalia (using foul language) while watching Election Call on TV especially when Gordon Brown or Michael Howard are in the hot seat.
Scotoma: An area of abnormal vision, suffered by Paddy Ashdown and a few other Liberal Democrat candidates who believe they might form the next government.
Glossectomy: Removal of all or part of the tongue, often prescribed by Peter Mandelson for John Prescott, Diane Abbott and Ken Livingstone.
Infantile Spasms: Seizure induced in politicians by Jeremy Paxman repeatedly barking the phrase, “For God’s sake, answer the bloody question”!
Premature Ejaculation: Unguarded comment made by a Labour politician that is later “explained more fully” by Labour’s rapid rebuttal unit.
(courtesy of Joe Joseph of The Times)
Eighteen Biographies of Margaret Thatcher
1975 Margaret Thatcher: First Lady of the House, Ernle Money, Leslie Frewin
1975 Margaret Thatcher, George Gardiner MP, William Kimber
1975 Margaret Thatcher: A Personal & Political Biography , Russell Lewis, Routledge
1978 Margaret Thatcher: A Tory & Her Party, Patrick Cosgrave, Hutchinson
1978 Margaret Thatcher: A Profile, Patricia Murray, W H Allen
1979 Madam Prime Minister, Allan Mayer, Newsweek Books (US)
1983 Thatcher , Nicholas Wapshott & George Brock, Macdonald
1983 Margaret Thatcher: Wife, Mother, Politician, Penny Junor, Sidgwick & Jackson
1984 Margaret Thatcher: A Study in Power, Bruce Arnold, Hamish Hamilton
1985 Thatcher: The First Term, Patrick Cosgrave, Bodley Head
1988 Thatcher, Kenneth Harris, Weidenfeld & Nicolson
1989 Margaret Thatcher: The Woman Within, Andrew Thomson, W H Allen
1989 Margaret Daughter of Beatrice, Leo Abse, Jonathan Cape
1989 One of Us, Hugo Young, Macmillan
1990 Maggie: An intimate portrait of a woman in power, Chris Ogden, Simon & Schuster (US)
1992 Margaret Thatcher In Victory & Downfall, Bruce Geelhoed, Praeger (US)
1993 Downing Street Years, Margaret Thatcher, Harper Collins
1995 Path to Power, Margaret Thatcher, Harper Collins
Ten Things John Major Won’t Say Sorry For
- Sacking Norman Lamont
- Goosing Gillian Shepherd after the last ever Cabinet meeting
- That clumsy overture he made to Sue Lawley
- Tucking his shirt into his underpants
- Spreading rumours about Tony Blair’s imminent baldness
- Recording a song called “Nobody Loves a Loser”
- Having 3 in a bed fantasies about Ian Botham and a cricket bat
- Leaving those chewing gum relics under the Number Ten sitting room carpet
- Liking peas
- Terry Major-Ball
Politicians Who Have Appeared in the Movies or on TV Playing Themselves
Ed Koch (The Muppets Take Manhatten, 1984)
Michael Foot (Rockets Galore, 1958)
Gough Whitlam (Barry McKenzie holds his own, 1974)
Hubert Humphrey (The Candidate, 1972)
Yitzhak Rabin (Operation Thunderbolt, 1977)
Harold MacMillan (The Archers)
Margaret Thatcher (Yes Prime Minister sketch, 198?)
Nancy Astor (Royal Cavalcade, 1935)
Bella Abzug (Manhatten, 1979)
Sebastian Coe (Brittas Empire, 1993)
George McGovern (The Candidate, 1972)
Hubert Humphrey (The Candidate, 1972)
Ten Actors who have played Margaret Thatcher
Sylvia Sims
Janet Hargreaves
Janet Brown
Faith Brown
Angela Thorne
Steve Nallon
Mike Yarwood
June Whitfield
Maureen Lipman
Meryl Streep
Top Ten Campaign Promises Tony Blair is Sorry he Made
1 To bomb France back to the First Republic
2 To privatise the British Library through QVC
3 To bring more lightweight pretty boys into the Party
4 To reveal at first Prime Ministers questions John Prescott’s IQ
5 To abandon the use of verbs
6 To invite Tony Booth to the victory celebrations
7 To give an interview to Dr Ruth
8 Not to raise taxes
9 A referendum on PR - Paddy can go to hell
10 To make Frank Dobson Secretary of State for Health
Top Ten John Major Excuses for Losing the 1997 Election
1 Blamed Norma for that hideous lipstick
2 He just knew along May Day wasn’t such a good day to hold and election
3 Brian Mawhinney didn’t smile enough at press conferences
4 Number plate on election battle bus read DUD 1
5 Michael Brunson kept using the words Major and ‘loser’ in the same sentence on News at Ten
6 Forgot to wear lucky underpants
7 Used Geoffrey Howe to warm up campaign crowds
8 Three day campaign tour on Guernsey was a mistake
9 Fell for Blair’s “you vote for me and I’ll vote for you” pledge
10 An endorsement from former Canadian PM Kim Campbell was maybe not such a good idea
Top Ten Ways to Make Ed Miliband more Exciting
1 Kill a man with kung fu kick on Panorama
2 Dump Justine and marry her fourteen year old cousin
3 Change campaign slogan from ‘Fresh Start’ to ‘Fresh Beaver’
4 Answer questions on Question Time with “D’know, I was too pissed to remember’
5 Hang out with Liam Gallagher
6 Shave head completely
7 Outdo Tony Blair by refusing to use nouns as well as verbs
8 Take weekend break on Club 18-30 holiday in Benidorm
9 Go to celeb party with Tiffany from Eastenders
10 Go on Stars in Their Eyes and say “And tonight Matthew, I’m going to be Shirley Bassey”
Top Ten Ways to Make Communism Fun Again
1 Spell it with a K
2 Have Castro do a guest slot on the Clive Anderson Show
3 Add mechanical shark attraction at Lenin’s Tomb
4 Have Christian Dior introduce new “Khmer Rouge”
5 Give everybody red birthmark to wear on forehead
6 Have Deng Xiaopeng cry during interview with Selina Scott
7 Less centralised economic planning, more PARTY!
8 Free vodka
9 Rename St Petersburg ‘Leningrad in association with McDonald’s’
10 Free Brezhnev eyebrow makeovers
Top Ten Reasons to Increase MPs’ Salaries
1 Many big companies are cutting back on bribes
2 Most Soho bars have raised their cover charges
3 Our nation’s lawmakers ought to make at least one tenth of Kermit the Frog’s income
4 To keep the money out of the hands of those undeserving nurses and teachers
5 Even an estate agent earns more
6 Mistresses are expensive
7 That new Daimler just eats up the petrol
8 Leather costs
9 Consultancy just isn’t what it used to be
10 Those bastards at IPSA
Top Ten Reasons to Vote
1 The chance to take a deep breath in a high school gymnasium
2 Good practice for voting for a Song for Europe
3 So you’ll feel personally involved when you MP is hauled off to jail
4 Even though it’s never come close to happening, your one vote could make a difference
5 You’ll feel so self righteous if the other lot get in and muck things up
6 If you don’t vote you can’t whinge about how terrible things are
7 You get a kick out of spoiling your ballot paper
8 You hate to be in the minority
9 You just love giving a false polling number to the saddos outside the polling station
10 If you can’t beat ‘em…
Top Ten Ways France is Preparing for a Single Currency (Written in 1998)
1 Dialing 999
2 Kissing plenty of German ass
3 Going a really long time without a shower
4 Installing speed bumps to slow the Panzers down
5 Cutting bedsheets into easy to wave white rectangles
6 Shaving armpits in celebration
7 Preparing TV Documentary on why the Brits needn’t have bothered on June 6 1944
8 Nicole tells Papa to trade in the Clio for a Merc
9 President Chirac proposes changing the country’s name to West Germany
10 Charles de Gaulle turns in his grave
Top Ten Signs That You’re Politically Correct
1 You’re a white male, but feel very guilty about it
2 You separate all your rubbish into different containers for recycling
3 You make sure that your make-up has not been tested on animals
4 Your CD collection includes mandatory discs by KD Lang, U2, REM, Sinead O’Connor and Sting
5 You believe that if an animal is cute, furry, huggable or rare then it has rights
6 You used phrases like, ‘Isn’t that pot called the Kettle Afro-Carribean?’
7 You can’t abide Men Behaving Badly
8 You don’t go ape when you find out your daughter has tried marijuana even though you want to
9 You watch BBC2 documentaries on the third world even though in your heart of hearts you know you’ll be dead bored
10 You don’t really mind if your local council gives money to one legged black disabled lesbian groups
Top Ten Things Which would be Different if the Prime Minister were a Dog
1 Labour Party HQ replaced by 20 storey high fire hydrant
2 Abolition of Pets Mean Prizes
3 Capital Punishment restored for Dale Winton
4 Doggy door on Number Ten
5 Dog biscuits on the NHS
6 Compulsory sterilisation for all cats
7 Life sentences for tail dockers
8 Battersea Dog’s Home to be renovated and replace Chequers as PM’s country residence
9 First Lady to be renamed First Bitch
10 PM to have the mandatory right to shag the legs of all fellow Cabinet Ministers
Top Ten Ways Cherie Blair Could Improve her Image
1 Move her eyes closer together
2 Never be seen with Hilary Clinton
3 Appear on TV as Julia Brogan in Brookside
4 Have an operation to remove the 666 from her scalp
5 Make prank call to Tony on the Jimmy Young show pretending to be a secret lover
6 Stop wearing the “All men are stupid” T Shirt
7 Comb her hair
8 Get rid of THAT nightie
9 When kissing Tony in public, get the timing right
10 Learn to buy her kids some decent clothes
Ten Football Personalities who Vote Conservative
1 Ken Bates
2 Sir John Hall
3 Jimmy Greaves
4 John Barnes
5 Gerry Francis
6 Tony Cottee
7 Emlyn Hughes
8 Lawrie McMenemy
9 Terry Venables
10 Er, David Mellor
Ten Things in Politics you would have Thought Impossible 20 Years Ago
1 Margaret Thatcher isn’t Prime Minister anymore
2 John Major was
3 The coal mines would be privatised
4 What the European Commission says, goes
5 John Prescott would be taken seriously
6 Neil Kinnock would be a European Commissioner
7 Ken Clarke would still be in Government
8 Teresa Gorman would still be 53
9 South Africa would be ruled by Nelson Mandela
10 The Russians are now our allies
Top Ten Signs your MP is Going Mad
1 He appears concerned about his constituents
2 Demonstrates his support for the beef industry by force feeding beefburgers to his 7 year old girl
3 Complains that Disraeli won’t reply to his letters
4 He wants to be called Glenda
5 Demands that each of the 74 voices in his head deserves a vote
6 You live in Billericay
7 Introduces a Bill to replace the National Anthem with “On the Good Ship Lollypop”
8 Urges the despatch of a brigade of boy scouts to retake France
9 He seriously thought John Redwood would help him win
10 He supports the introduction of a windfall tax
Ten Politicians with Odd Hobbies
1 Harry Greenway - parachuting
2 Audrey Wise - rearing chickens
3 Edwina Currie - rifle shooting
4 Dennis Skinner - heel & toe walking
5 Ken Livingstone - collecting newts
6 John MacGregor - performing magic tricks
7 Sir Edward Heath - Sailing & Conducting (but not at the same time)
8 Kenneth Clarke - Bird Watching
9 Robin Cook - Writing Tipsters column in ‘Sporting Life’
10 Sir Anthony Steen - Connoisseur of fine teas
Ten Politicians Who Have Appeared in TV or Newspaper Adverts
1 David Amess (Bananarama’s Greatest Hits)
2 Norman St John Stevas (Bananarama’s Greatest Hits)
3 Ken Livingstone (National Dairy Council Cheeses)
4 Ted Heath (National Dairy Council Cheese)
5 David Steel (Nat West)
6 Cyril Smith (Access)
7 Ronald Reagan (General Electric)
8 Lord George Brown (Normandy Ferries)
9 Sir Clement Freud (Minced Morsels)
10 Ron Brown (Bananarama’s Greatest Hits)
Top Ten Political Movies
1 Paris By Night
2 Dave
3 Bob Roberts
4 JFK
5 Nixon
6 Damage
7 An American President
8 Reds
9 Washington Behind Closed Doors
10 Independence Day
Twenty Football Clubs with Political Supporters
Celtic - Brian Wilson
Chelsea - John Major, David Mellor, Tony Banks
Everton - Steve Norris, Alan Simpson
Falkirk - Doug Henderson
Hearts - George Foulkes
Huddersfield Town - Harold Wilson
Leeds United - James Clappison
Manchester United - Tom Pendry
Motherwell - Ann Taylor
Newcastle United - Tony Blair
Nottingham Forest - Kenneth Clarke
Plymouth Argyle - Michael Foot
Port Vale - Joan Walley
Sheffield Wednesday - Roy Hattersley
Stockport County - Peter Snape
Sunderland - Hilary Armstrong
Swansea City - Michael Howard
Swindon Town - Nigel Jones
West Ham - Mike Gapes
York City - John Greenway
Top Twenty Nicknames for Mrs Thatcher
1 Thatcher - Milk Snatcher - The Sun
2 Heather (Private Eye)
3 Mother - Tory MPs
4 Grocer’s Daughter - Valery Giscard D’Estaing
5 Man with tits - Maureen Colquhoun MP
6 Plutonium Blonde - Arthur Scargill
7 David Owen in drag - Rhodesia Herald
8 That Bloody Woman - various
9 Nanny of the nation - Germaine Greer
10 Old iron knickers - Ron Brown
11 The old cow - Richard Needham MP
12 Wicked witch of the west - Gerald Kaufman
13 Thieving magpie - Gerald Kaufman
14 Thatchertollah - Neil Kinnock
15 The Blessed Margaret - Norman St John Stevas
16 The immaculate misconception - Norman St John Stevas
17 Attilla the Hen from Number 10 - Arthur Scargill
18 Bargain Basement Boadicea - Denis Healey
19 TINA (There Is NO Alternative) - Private Eye
20 Baroness Belgrano - Edward Pearce
Top Thirty Political Nicknames
Hezza - Michael Heseltine
Tarzan - Michael Heseltine
RAB - R A Butler
Chingford Skinhead - Norman Tebbit
Chips - Henry Channon
Cruella de Ville - Edwina Currie
Comeback Kid - Bill Clinton
Slick Willie - Bill Clinton
Supermac - Harold Macmillan
Shagger - Steve Norris
Boneless Wonder - Ramsay MacDonald
Boy David - David Steel
Hatterji - Roy Hattersley
Ms Hairperson - Harriet Harman
Dr Death - David Owen
Woy - Roy Jenkins
Welsh Windbag - Neil Kinnock
Supergrass - Ian Gow
Minister for Fun - David Mellor
Mogadon Man - Sir Geoffrey Howe
Biffo - John Biffen
Biffo - Geoffrey Dickens (said to stand for Bloody Ignorant Fool From Oldham!)
Lord Suit - Lord Young of Graffham
Afghan Ron - Ron Brown
Paddy Pantsdown - Paddy Ashdown
Red Ken - Ken Livingstone
Sunny Jim - James Callaghan
Worzel Gummidge - Michael Foot
Gum Gum - John Gummer
The Lip - Helmut Schmidt
Sixteen Names Denis Healey called Margaret Thatcher
Bargain Basement Boadecia
Catherine the Great of Finchley
Great She Elephant
La Passionara of Privilege
Rambona
Rhoda the Rhino
Winston Churchill in drag
Attila the Hen
The lady with the blowlamp
Petain in petticoats
Castro of the Western World
Calamity Jane
Dragon Empress
Miss Floggie
The Incredible Revolving Maggie
The parrot on Ronald Reagan’s shoulder
Tony Blair’s New Year’s Resolutions for 1999
- Take more notice of that Harman woman’s ass
- Not to worry about the hair loss - no, really
- To use more verbs
- Occasionally to disagree with Peter Mandelson
- To ditch that plank Dobson
- Tell people to ‘Call me Anthony’
- Improve approval ratings to 110%
- Hand William Hague a baby’s dummy at PM’s Question Time and tell him to ‘Go suck on it’
- Do something about the Ford Galaxy
10. Buy some new brown paper bags - if you get my meaning
Top Ten Signs Tony Blair Thinks he’s Margaret Thatcher
- Wanders round Number Ten shrieking ‘Rejoice, Rejoice’
- Keeps calling Alastair Campbell Bernard
- Keeps a close check on Euan’s bank account
- Keeps pouring Gin & Tonic down Cherie’s neck
- Describes Peter Mandelson as “One of Them” as opposed to “One of Us”
- After Lords defeat on fox hunting announces “I fight on. I fight to win”
- Tells close confidant that “Every Prime Minister Needs a Peter”
- Gazes lovingly into US President’s eyes at summit meeting
- Upon meeting Boris Yeltsin declares: “I like Mr Yeltsin. We can do business together”
- Following Prescott’s resignation a bewildered Blair describes him in interview with Brian Walden as “unassailable”
Ten Ways to Raise Money for the Conservative Party
- Put condom machine in Opposition whips office
- Send Virginia Bottomley out to work, if you get my drift
- Make a quick £3 million by renaming Party “Big Mac Conservative Party”
- Open Margaret Thatcher Theme Park on former site of Central Office….on second thoughts
- Cosy up to Asil Nadir
- Sell off excess supplies of Cecil Parkinson brylcream
- Win the lottery
- Set light to Michael Heseltine and claim on the insurance
- Hold a sponsored ‘lie a thon’
- Pay Neil and Christine to shup the f*** up
Tony Blair’s Worst Nightmares
- Answering the phone and hearing “Hi Tone, it’s the Scouse Git here”
- Waking up and finding May 1 1997 was an April Fool’s joke - one month late
- At one his “Talk to Tony” meetings the whole audience consists of Jeremy Paxman
- Running out of Chianti
- Forgetting the word ‘new’.
- Something involving Prescott and a sheep
- Neil Kinnock makes speech hinting at return to British politics
- John Smith makes surprise guest appearance on X Files
- David Blunkett abolished grant maintained schools
- Cherie is made redundant
Ten Signs John Redwood is Trying to be Human
- Loosens tie during foreplay
- Appears on Kilroy show minus trousers
- Starts hanging around with Gary Barlow
- Rollerblades to the Commons
- Shows off Star Trek video collection during Through the Keyhole with Lloyd Grossman
- Willing to suffer a repeat humiliation from Clive Anderson
- Appears on the Mrs Merton show in string vest
- Refuses to use the words ‘logical’ and captain’ in the same sentence
- Trades in Jag for a Ford Ka
- Encourages wife to ditch cushy British Airways legal job for trolley dolly vacancy
Ten Signs Cherie Booth Thinks She’s Hillary Clinton
- She expresses a desire to personally reform the National Health Service
- She denies murdering the Attorney General
- Always got a downer on Chelsea
- Looks at her husband in that doe eyed kind of a way
- Holds hands with her husband in public
- Goes pale at Tony’s suggestion for a whitewater rafting holiday
- Wears a badge saying ‘Proud to be a Lawyer’
- Urges Tony to get a tattoo down below just like Bill’s
- Puts phone down upon hearing the words: “Hi, I’m Paula Jones”
- Doesn’t like these secret meetings with a blonde called Margaret
Ten Politicians who have Appeared on Have I Got News For You
1. Roy Hattersley
2. Edwina Currie
3. Jerry Hayes
4. Cecil Parkinson
5. Nigel Lawson
6. Diane Abbott
7. Neil Hamilton
8. Neil Kinnock
9. Ken Livingstone
10. Tony Banks
Top Ten Ways to Let a 20 Point Opinion Poll Lead Slip
1. Make a speech on how we should give the Falklands to Argentina after all
2. Hire Mr Blobby as your campaign manager
3. Appear on Noel’s House Party receiving a massage from Julian Clary
4. Sanction special guest appearance by Peter Tatchell at final campaign rally
5. Appear on Breakfast with Frost and announce an alliance with Paddy Ashdown
6. Authorise Photo opportunity at local swimming baths with Prescott and Hattersley
7. Be filmed leaving Thatcher house by the back door after secret tryst
8. Change your name to George Herbert Walker Bush
- Authorise sending of free CD of Cliff’s Greatest Hits to all first time voters
10. Appear at Sheffield campaign rally shouting; “alright, alright, alright” in a Welsh accent
Top Ten Rejected Titles for John Major’s Memoirs
- “Nice, nicer, nicest”
- “Six and Out”
- “Fade to Grey”
- “Nice peas”
- “Who’d Have Thought It?”
- “Serves the Bastards Right”
- “Me and the Flapping White Coats”
- “A Not Inconsiderable Memoir”
- “Memoirs of the Eighth Longest Serving Prime Minister this Century, oh yes”
- “Tough luck Rory Bremner”
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Parliamentary Picnics
1. “Prescott sure looks good in those cycling shorts”
2. “No Miss Widdecombe, you don’t put the potato sack over your head - on second thoughts…”
3 .“Isn’t that Chris Smith and Ben Bradshaw slow dancing?”
4. “Put your pants on Mr Ashdown”
5 .“Could I have another tax-payer subsidised sausage roll, please?”
6. “I could think of another use for that wicker hamper…”
7. “Shame Neil & Christine couldn’t be here.”
- “When I said let’s put the rug down I wasn’t referring to Michael Fabricant”
- “Shame Hague couldn’t be here - guess it’s past his bedtime”
10. “I don’t think that’s what you’re supposed to do with the egg mayonaise Lord Parkinson”
Top Ten Unbelievable Political Headlines
1 Thatcher Challenges for Leadership
2 Pitchforks for Iraq Scandal
3 Hague Borrows Fabricant’s Hair
4 Blair Steps Down in favour of Prescott
5 Neil Hamilton to Host Call my Bluff
6 Mandelson Says No to Free TV Coverage
7 Taxes Fall Under Labour
8 Tories Pledge 30% Health Spending Rise
9 Jonathan Dimbleby Blasts Patten
10 Tories Odds on to Win Next Election
Thirty Five Celebrities who support the Conservatives
Bill Roache (Ken Barlow in Coronation Street)
Steve Davis
Fred Trueman
Terry Neil
Lynsey De Paul
Sharon Davies
Brian Jacks
Neil Adams
Emlyn Hughes
Jimmy Greaves
Ken Dodd
Jack Walker
Duncan Goodhew
Ian Botham
Bob Monkhouse
Jim Davidson
Jimmy Tarbuck
Cilla Black
Tony Cottee
Nick Faldo
Janet Brown
Ronnie Corbett
Adam Faith
Clive Lloyd
Judith Chalmers
Stan Boardman
Errol Brown
Zandra Rhodes
Bryan Forbes
Nanette Newman
Susanne Dando
Bob Champion
Michael Winner
Sir Peregrine Worsthorne
Twenty Celebrities Who Support Labour
Pat Nevin
Tom Watts
Melvyn Bragg
Billy Bragg
Neil Pearson
Brian Clough
Alex Ferguson
Kevin Keegan
Richard Wilson
Stephen Fry
Ben Elton
Jo Brand
Hugh Laurie
Alan Sillitoe
Geraldine Bedell
Hunter Davies
Christopher Haskins
Nigella Lawson
Billy Bragg
John Mortimer
Five Celebrities who support the Liberal Democrats
John Cleese
Ludovic Kennedy
Edward Woodward
Peter Ustinov
Brenda Maddox
Seven Famous Political Marriages
John Maples & Jane Corbin (Tory MP & BBC Journalist)
Keith Hampson & Sue Cameron (Tory MP & Channel Four presenter)
Michael Howard & Sandra Paul (Tory MP & former model)
Senator John Warner & Elizabeth Taylor (US Senator & British actress)
Michael Foot & Jill Craigie (Labour politician and authoress)
Gordon & Bridget Prentice (Labour MP & Labour MP!)
Alan & Ann Keen (Labour MP & Labour MP!)
Eight Occasions When Politicians Have Cried in Public
Mrs Thatcher when Mark was lost in the desert
Mrs Thatcher during an interview with Michael Brunson
Mrs Thatcher during an interview with Miriam Stoppard
Bob Hawke (when he admitted being unfaithful to his wife)
Senator Ed Muskie (when asked about his wife’s drinking)
President Ford (when congratulating Jimmy Carter on his victory in 1980)
Rep. Pat Schroder (announcing that she would not run for President in 1988)
Benazir Bhutto (voting for herself in 1988)
Seven Actor Politicians
Shirley Temple
Sony Bono
Andrew Faulds
Glenda Jackson
Nana Mouskouri
Charlton Heston
Clint Eastwood
Ten Famous Political Homes
The Binns - Tam Dalyell
The Hirsel - Sir Alec Douglas Home
Blair House - home of the US Vice President
Chequers - Country residence of the Prime Minister
Chevening - Country residence of the Foreign Secretary
Dorneywood - Country residence of the Chancellor of the Exchequer
Cliveden - home of the Astor Family
Admiralty House - Used by Prime Ministers when 10 Downing Street is unavailable
Camp David - Presidential retreat in Maryland’s Catoctin Mountains, originally built in 1942 by President Roosevelt
Chartwell - Home of Winston Churchill
Top Ten Alternative Jobs for Politicians
1 Tony Blair - Actor in a Colgate advert
2 John Major - Actor in a black and white movie
3 Alan Clark - Sperm donor
4 William Hague - Peter Pan
5 John Prescott - Telly Tubby
6 Margaret Hodge - Clothes Horse
7 Andrew Smith - Dalek replacement
8 Robin Cook - Garden gnome
9 Tony Banks - Pearly King
10 Margaret Beckett - Number 3 in the 3.30 at Newmarket
Top Ten Politician’s Names for Voters
1 Dipsticks
2 Potential Shags
3 The enfranchised ones
4 Those whom we serve
5 Those who know not what they do
6 The bosses
7 The little people
8 Ordinary people
9 The bribable masses
10 Those who giveth and taketh away
Top Ten Good Things About Being Prime Minister
1 Every day, your weight in 10ps from the Dartford Tunnel tollbooth
2 It’s the second most powerful position in the country - behind the editor of The Sun
3 Full control of the nuclear arsenal, aimed at a country of your prejudice
4 You’re not married to Anne Heseltine
5 Being able to visit high school gymnasiums at a time of your choice
6 People always telling you what you want to hear
7 Being able to spend, spend, spend
8 You finally get to settle all those scores
9 Subscription free access to CNN
10 Speeding through red lights in a chauffeur driven Daimler
Top Ten Good Things About Being Deputy Prime Minister
1 All the fun with none of the responsibility
2 Allowed to pick any voter at random and spend their taxes on whatever you like
3 You’re not married to Cherie
4 Get to pretend to be PM when Tony’s away
5 Er, that’s it
Top Ten Signs Tony Blair has Become ‘Hip’
1 Loosens tie during intimate game with Cherie
2 Opens Prime Minister’s Question Time with “Awright Will?”
3 He’s been shooting the shit with Liam Gallacher
4 Cherie’s knackered, if you get the drift
5 Recently seen tapping foot to a Sister Sledge CD
6 Heard screaming abuse at the referee at a Newcastle soccer game
7 Tells Bill Clinton he inhaled
8 Swaps Ford Galaxy people mover for Audi Cabriolet
9 Annoys the neighbours with Def Leppard guitar impersonation
10 Repaints Number Ten door in turquoise
Ten Things You’d Love to Hear Politicians Say But Never Will
1 Margaret Thatcher: I was wrong
2 Tony Blair: I’ll never smile again
3 Gerry Adams: I unreservedly condemn the IRA’s bombing
4 Norman Lamont: Je regrette tous
5 Michael Heseltine: I’ve given up hope of being Prime Minister
6 Reverend Ian Paisley: And top of the morning to you Mr Adams
7 Alex Salmond: Scotland could never survive on its own
8 Ted Heath: Margaret, I apologise
9 Neil Kinnock: I’m as jealous as hell
10 Teresa Gorman: I can’t wait to spend my Euros
Ten Ways of Knowing When a Politician is Telling a Lie
1 His lips are moving
2 He doesn’t look you in the eye
3 He repeats himself
4 He drums his fingers
5 Liberal use of the word ‘er’
6 His bald patch starts to sweat
7 Starts telling you the question you ought to be asking him
8 Slags of his opponents
9 Immediately launches into defence of his Party’s record regardless of the question
10 Foot tapping turns into St Vitas Dance
Ten Reasons to Vote for the Green Party
1 You have a beard
2 It’s more meaningful than voting Liberal Democrat
3 You work for a sandal manufacturer
4 That Sarah Parkinson seemed such a nice lady
5 You feel guilty for buying that extra gallon of 4 star for your 5 litre Pontiac Trans Am
6 You feel as a vegetarian it’s your duty
7 At least they believe what they’re saying, even if it is complete balls
8 You’ve always wanted to till the land
9 You feel sorry for them
10 Someone ought to
Twelve Translations for the Politically Incorrect
1 Class warfare: Nicking a ham roll from Asda
2 Elitist: Someone who owns a bigger house than you do
3 Fascist: Someone who you don’t agree with
4 Bourgeois: Anyone who shops at Laura Ashley
5 Tory Press: Fails to report your press release on the Newham Labour Party coffee morning
6 Sexist: Watching “Girls on Top”
7 Racist: Failing to watch Desmond’s
8 Culturally Dispossessed: Anyone who reads Jeffrey Archer novels
9 Person of gender: A babe
10 Pro-choice: In favour of killing babies
11 Temporally Challenged: Shirley Williams
12 Career Change Opportunity: You’re fired
Forty Two Translations of Things Politicians Say
1 My good friend…. Someone who is not a sworn enemy
2 Freedom fighter Terrorist whose aims I agree with
3 Terrorist Freedom fighter whose aims I disagree with
4 Courageous Politically stupid
5 Divisive Any policy put forward by the opposition
6 I’m not a crook I am a crook
7 Our European partners Those wogs over the channel who are trying to screw us
8 The Right Honourable Member That prat over the other side
9 Environmentalists Sandal wearing tree huggers
10 I did not mean to imply I certainly did mean to imply
11 I take full responsibility My civil servants should take full responsibility
12 Freedom of the individual Freedom to infringe the rights of other individuals
13 In the national interest In my party’s interest
14 Read my lips But I don’t really mean it
15 Urban renewal Pouring public money into a bottomless pit
16 Tax cut Election bribe
17 Rumour It must be true
18 Special relationship One which allows the American to do what they want
19 Poverty Owning a black and white television
20 This will create a dangerous precedent We might have to do it again
21 Decentralisation of government Moving government agencies to marginal seats
22 It’s not the money, it’s the principle It’s the money
23 It’s a question of priorities And our priority right now is not to do it
24 Few people are likely to be affected Many people will be affected
25 I’ve been quoted out of context I wish I’d never said it
26 I said it off the record I really wish I’d never said it
27 We are examining all the possibilities To wheedle our way out of it
28 Measures will be enacted within the We’re putting it off indefinitely
lifetime of this Parliament
29 We’re on course We’re in terrible trouble
30 That is a simplistic view It’s true but I’m not going to admit it
31 Full and frank exchange Blazing row
32 Businesslike talks Heated and determined exchange
33 Frank Shouting match
34 Constructive Polite but without agreement
35 Let me say this Listen carefully, I’m about to tell a lie
36 No disrespect, but I’m going to insult you
37 Emerging nation Backward country run by natives
38 Active defence Invasion
40 Plausible denial Official lying
41 Temporarily unsalaried Unemployed
42 Advanced defence condition War
Things you Should Never Say if you Meet Bill Clinton
1 Hello, I’m Gennifer Flowers
2 Hello, I’m Paula Jones
3 How’s the tattoo?
4 So how exactly did Vince Foster die?
5 So what was Vietnam really like?
6 Have you ever got off with Madeleine Albright?
7 Mr President, I feel your pain
8 John Major just loves to watch Chelsea score
9 Do you want to go whitewater rafting?
10 Name me ten things you and Ted Kennedy have in common
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Ash, Russell, Top Ten of Everything, Dorling Kindersley 1996
Butler & Butler, British Political Facts 1900-94, Macmillan 1994
Campaign Guide 1997, Conservative Central Office
Comfort, Nicholas, Brewer’s Politics, Cassell 1995
Cook, Chris, World Political Almanac, Facts on File 1995
Cook & Paxton, European Political Facts 1918-90, Macmillan 1991
Dale, Iain, As I Said to Denis, Robson Books 1997
Dale, Iain, The Blair Necessities, Robson Books 1997
Dod’s Parliamentary Companion
Englefield, Seaton & White, Facts about British Prime Ministers, Mansell 1995
Foote, Geoffrey, Chronology of Post War British Politics, Croom Helm 1988
Jay, Anthony, Dictionary of Political Quotations, Oxford University Press 1995
Koski & Symons, You Magazine Book of Journalists, Chapman 1990
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McKie, David, Guardian Political Almanac 1994-5, Fourth Estate 1995
Palmer, Alan, Who’s Who in World Politics, Routledge, 1996
Parris, Matthew, Read My Lips, Robson Books 1996
Parris, Matthew, Great Parliamentary Scandals, Robson 1995
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