This was the eulogy I gave at the funeral of my Godmother, Eleanor Daniels, at Little Chesterford Parish Church on 13 November 2007.
I suspect that like me, most of you can’t believe that you are sitting here today, mourning the loss of a truly wonderful woman, Eleanor Daniels, a woman who touched so many lives and made them immeasureably better.
Eleanor, the number of people here today shows what a beloved friend, neighbour, Godmother you are. We are all so lucky to have been part of your life, and to have been guided by you, befriended by you and loved by you.
Eleanor was born in 1933 at Spring Grove Farm at Withersfield, near Haverhill where she lived until the age of nine. My mother, Jane, remembers a pretty baby being pushed in a pram past her parents’ farm, dressed in white with blue ribbons. Within two years she had made a lifelong friend, my mother, who lived just up the road.
Despite Jane moving to Norfolk, their friendship endured. Neither of them had sisters. But they were as close as sisters – and still are.
It has to be said that Jane –two years older than Eleanor – sometimes led her astray. Indeed, if ASBOs had existed in those days Eleanor and Jane would have worn them as a badge of honour. One day they stood on the railway bridge over the Haverhill road throwing stones down on passing cars. Eleanor would be the watchout as Jane went birdnesting.
But as adulthood approached, Eleanor decided to become a teacher. She trained in London at the Battersea School of Domestic Science, where she made another lifelong friend Cynthia.
In 1955 Eleanor started her teaching career in Braintree, not too far from where she and her parents were now living, in Manuden.
In the early 1960s she started a new job at the newly created Saffron Walden County High School ,where she taught until her retirement at the end of the 1980s.
Eleanor loved her job. It wasn’t just a job, it was a vocation. She was also a disciplinarian and I well remember that her voice could be heard way down the other end of B corridor when she got going. The school’s deputy head at the time, Nick Pett, who’s here today remembers the Speech Day events where Eleanor would prepare the food. She would lay the cakes out and have a worried look on her face. “Do you think there are enough<” she’d ask him repeatedly. There always were.
In 1978 she took over from her colleague and friend Dorothy Breen as Head of Home Economics. But as the teaching world changed, Eleanor decided that she didn’t much care for the new era of the national curriculum, constant testing and the rest, and she gladly took early retirement.
But Eleanor was never one to sit back on her laurels and she threw herself into many activities. She was a soroptomist for many years and it was there that she met her friend Barbara. She tells me of the Mondays they would both go over to Ashdon to make picnics for disabled children not just three or four, but 100 picnics – they even made fruit salad in buckets!
Eleanor was also an avid attender of the Garden Club, for which she acted as treasurer for 14 years. She took up upholstery with gusto and made the most beautifully upholstered chairs. She cherished her friendship with Barbara and they went on many holidays together all over the country. Scotland was her favourite destination and Barbara tells me that Eleanor was an avid shopper – as if I didn’t know! She took great care over her appearance and was always immaculately turned out.
Eleanor took her village duties incredibly seriously and was an active member of the parish council and enjoyed her role on the village hall management committee. She really was a valued member of the Little Chesterford Community. Her friend and neighbour Janet Godfrey told me last week of the card signed by thirty of her friends, each with an individual message, which was sent to her at Addenbrookes.
Everyone in Little Chesterford knew that if Eleanor said she would do something, she would do it, no questions asked. And most of all everyone loved her cooking. Firework nights at Little Chesterford will never quite be the same again without her jacket potatoes and sausages. And the village fete will miss her cakes. Her cakes are a legend.
Her cousin Harold, who’s here today, has said how much he will miss Eleanor’s company and culinary delights: her Sunday roasts were a particular favourite of his.
Eleanor was like a second mother to Tracey, Sheena and me. She was such an integral part of our childhood that we can all say she has played a major part in making us all who we are today. She never married and we were the children she never had, I suppose.
During our childhood she stayed at our house every Tuesday night and during the school holidays we'd all troop off in Auntie Eleanor’s Morris Minor for countless day trips to the coast or a visitor attraction - to Hunstanton, Walton on the Naze, Wicksteed Park, Wells-next-the-sea, Gosfield – well, the memories come flooding back.
Tracey has asked me to share with you a vivid memory of how Eleanor displayed her kindness in a very practical way. On the morning of Tracey’s wedding she discovered that the necklace she had planned to wear didn’t suit the neckline of her wedding dress, but Auntie Eleanor calmly told her not to panic, hopped in her car, drove back to Little Chesterford and saved several tears – not least on the part of my mother – when she returned with a beautiful necklace that belonged to her mother Lilly. It was just perfect. Tracey’s daughters, Izzy and Philly, will remember her as part and parcel of their visits to Hall Farm, as she always took such a loving interest in their lives.
Sheena has told me that she always felt privileged to call Eleanor her other mother and knew that Eleanor was extremely proud of all of our achievements. For Sheena one of her biggest achievements was the birth of her daughter Zoe, and for the first two and a half years of Zoe’s life Zoe has been like a granddaughter to Eleanor. Sheena has said that she will treasure forever the memories of watching Eleanor and Zoe hand in hand disappearing under the apple trees on one of their nature walks and she knew that Eleanor was immensely proud of being entrusted as one of Zoe’s pre-school guardians. And even when desperately ill in hospital, Zoe’s words LOVE YOU ELLA still managed to make Eleanor smile.
Eleanor was a rock in our lives. We could tell her things we could tell no one else. She gave us wise advice which was always appreciated. In short, she was the perfect Godmother. She was an unswerving friend to our mother, Jane, and our father Garry – supportive, loyal, and there for both of them when they needed her. When Jane was in hospital during her five – yes five - hip operations it was Eleanor who took care of her afterwards. Jane was, however, able to reciprocate the care shown to her by looking after Eleanor at Hall Farm during her convalescence after a serious operation six months ago.
When we went to see Eleanor two Mondays ago to say good-bye I admit I didn't want to go. I wanted to remember her as she always was - vibrant, laughing, funny, caring.
I hugged her. Eleanor whispered in my ear "Don't upset yourself, don't upset yourself," - as ever caring for others before herself. I sat there for three hours holding her hand until my hand was almost numb. Tracey told her how much we loved her and how grateful we were for everything she had done for us.
I want to say a word about my younger sister Sheena. Some of you will know that it was Sheena who sat with Eleanor, hour after hour, day after day – one day for twelve hours. She did it not because she felt she had to, but because she wanted to be with Eleanor in her hours of need. We know Sheena protected us from some of what Eleanor was going through and she did that out of her love for Eleanor and her love for us. Sheena, you know how much Eleanor appreciated your love and care, and I hope you know that we, your family, do too.
And I’d like also to thank Murray George for his kindness to Eleanor. He too sat with her for hours on end and was a great comfort to Sheena too. He is a credit to his ministry. Eleanor was a very Christian woman who loved attending the United Reform Church in Abbey Lane, as well as going to evensong here in Little Chesterford. She wanted to be buried here, next to her parents and she wanted Murray to conduct the service. I know we’re all so pleased that God has granted her this final wish.
We’ve come together to remember Eleanor today, to celebrate the fact that we were part of her life. We think of a woman who always seemed to be happy, always smiling, always wanting to help others. And what better way to be remembered.
Eleanor, the - love - in - this – church – today - shows - how – you – are – in – our – thoughts – and – will – always – be – in – our - prayers. We all love you, so very very much.
