So, Stuart Wheeler has been summarily shown the door by the Conservative Party. Good. Actions have consequences, as Mr Wheeler (as he will now forever remain!) must have known. No responsible political party could have allowed one of its donors to give a large amount of money to a rival political party and turned a blind eye.

But apparently, I have a hidden agenda in all of this. It seems I called for him to be expelled so I could help UKIP survive. Obvious, innit. Well, that's what a site called Political Gossip reckons...

We understand that Iain Dale is callling for Stuart Wheeler to be 'kicked out' of the Tory Party for his 'treason'. Mmmmmm. Iain Dale knows full well that all this is likely to achieve, is the driving of Mr Wheeler into the hands of UKIP - the Leader of which is a 'close friend' of Iain Dale. After all, we were all confused in this office at Mr Dale's effusive comments towards Nigel Farage - but we understand that a few meals and drinks together have placed these 2 individuals at a different 'operating level'. According to a Nigel Farage critic, 'Nigel was never fussy about the company he kept'.

Hilarious. Yes, Nigel Farage is a really close friend of mine. So close that I have met him all of, let me see, yes, three times. And on none of the occasions did either of us have a meal or a drink. I'm sure that we'll put that right soon though. Cos we're bosom buddies, don'tcha know.

A few days ago someone quite well known texted me saying: "I read the papers and read about this person with my name, who is a complete stranger to me." With the reaction to my shortlisting for the Orwell Prize and this sort of thing, I am beginning to know how they feel.

UPDATE 21.40: it gets more hilarious by the minute. Come crackpot anti-Farage UKIP websitereports this...

Iain Dale would seem to have more than a reasonable interest in the well being of Farage. Could the stridency of Iain Dale's dismissal of Stuart Wheeler be founded on Jealousy or spite? Clearly Iain Dale seeks to damage The Tories in the long run and is seeking to push Stuart Wheeler into the arms of Farage - I would presume that foolish as Stuart Wheeler may be with his petty cash he is not as dumb as Iain Dale would wish him to be to comply with his underhand behaviour.


I think I need to lie down. Just wait till they read my GQ profile of Farage, which is out next week. That should really set the conspiracy theorists away with the fairies.