It's one of those Saturdays where I sit twiddling our thumbs, cursing Sky for postponing the Chelsea v West Ham game until Monday. Me in particular. Why? Because a friend of mine who owns a box at Stamford Bridge invited him to join him. That was when the match was scheduled for today. Seeing as it is now on Monday night I can't go because I have to present my radio show - Brexit means Brexit, and everything...
I've been to Stamford Bridge a few times in my friend's Box. Last time, I genuinely thought we were going to win, but the ref enabled Chelsea to equalise in the last minute of a 2-2 draw. When we scored our first I nearly got thrown out of the ground for having the temerity to celebrate. This, despite there being a wall between me and the Chelsea fans.
The only time I've been to Stamford Bridge and we won was way back in the 1990s. The ground was a complete wreck then, and I seem to remember John Moncur tucking away the winner, although my memory is probably defective and can't be arsed to check. It was repayment for the experience of the first time I ever went to Upton Park in March 1975 when I saw Alan Curbishley make his debut in a 1-0 defeat to the Blues.
At Upton Park I only ever watched a match from a box twice. Once was about 12 years ago and I remember it was in the corner, next to the Trevor Brooking Stand. Although the seats were obviously outside, I remember feeling very detached from it all. You don't feel part of it the way you do when you're scrunched in your seat with everyone else.
The second time was in our final season at the Boleyn. I think it was our win in the Cup when we beat Liverpool through a late Ogbonna goal. I remember hugging Bianca Westwood... Memories, what memories...
Another occasion sticks in the mind too. On my only visit to Anfield a few years ago, I ended up sitting in the Directors' Box, in the front row. That was quite an experience. I was leaving my seat at half time and someone shouted: "Oi, Iain, you've put on a bit of timber!" I was about to retort "Cheeky bugger," when I realised they were directing the insult at Ian Rush, who was sitting behind me.
My next 'Box' experience (ooh, er, Missus) will come at the London Stadium at the Leicester match. It'll all be a very new experience as the corporate boxes are on the opposite side of the ground to my normal seat.
I do rather fear that we will go into that match having lost at Chelsea and Old Trafford. But you never know. Marko might have found his scoring boots by then...
